


Our Time Together

by thingwithfeathers



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Alpha Peter Hale, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Full Shift Werewolves, Good Peter Hale, Hopeful Ending, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Malia Doesn't Exist, Peter Hale-centric, Pre-Slash, Steter Reverse Bang 2019, Underage Drinking, but he gets better from that one, except for canon Peter death, mcd is one of the betas, not Stiles or Peter, season 1-3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-13
Updated: 2019-06-13
Packaged: 2020-04-05 23:55:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 26,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19051081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thingwithfeathers/pseuds/thingwithfeathers
Summary: Peter was trapped in his mind, his head flooded with the nightmare of his pack dying in flames. He was burning with them.He was all alone, with no pack left.He raged, and burned. Then, one day, the nightmare was interrupted.A scent. A new scent. A scent filled with the same misery and anguish he felt.Pack?Maybe.





	1. Drowning in my thoughts

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Morni6](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morni6/gifts).



> This is the first Reverse Bang I’ve participated in, and it has been a blast. I hope that I’ll have my life sorted a bit better for next time because it got quite stressful at the end, but on the whole, I’ve have fun and it got me out of a period of no writing at all so it’s all good. 
> 
> I got paired up with the super-talented [Morni6](https://morni6.tumblr.com/) and I got this lovely image to write about.
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> The rest of her art can be found [here](https://morni6.tumblr.com/post/185570202961/my-second-entry-for-steter-reverse-bang-2019), go give her all the love, her stuff is amazing. 
> 
> She also gave me the song Our time together by Ivan B for inspiration. My ambition was a lot of angst and missed opportunities and a story that would stretch over several years but time constraints and well, my inability to torture Peter too much made this story a different one. 
> 
> It’s canon divergent by having Stiles and Peter “meeting” in the hospital when Peter is in a coma, and a how that would affect Peter and his choices. 
> 
> I hope you’ll like it.
> 
> EDIT - fixed links

He could feel his eyes water as he ran without any sense of direction or plan, breath caught in his throat and his heart beating rabbit fast in his chest. His mind’s blank, because if he let himself think he would just play the hateful words on repeat and he just couldn’t take it. He wanted his dad, but his dad had work and didn’t realize and he just. Can’t.

He somehow managed to avoid any nurses or doctors on his way, he was good at that, making himself small and invisible almost instinctively, and finally, stumbled into a room with blessed silence. The door had been halfway open, and he closed it behind him thinking the room empty. He just needed some space. Somewhere where no alien had inhabited his mom making her say and do things that tore him apart. Except that it was no alien, it was his mom, but not, maybe she’s just Claudia when the mom part slipped away. He would have preferred aliens. Aliens could be fought and defeated and then he would have his mom back but instead, he got less and less of her. Now it’s just the small glimpses that he almost hated more than how she became when she slipped. Because those glimpses of her made him stay. Made him continue to sit with her even when she forgot him or became violent or- 

He squeezed his eyes shut, feeling the world crashing in on him as he tried to just breathe, and he couldn’t get any air, his throat was burning with the lack of oxygen and he needed, and he had forgotten what he should do, he needed to breathe, why did this keep happening, he just…

***

In the bed, not far from the panicking boy a man laid trapped in fire. Not that anyone had noticed that. He was utterly alone and no fancy equipment could show just what his mind was doing to him.  And his mind was playing the brutal murder of his pack and family on repeat. He never got out, even if he must have since he was in a hospital now, his mind didn’t allow the ending. Because he had failed. He was the enforcer, the protector, the one whose life was given to the pack and maybe the biggest failure of all was that he still lived. So his mind repeated the feeling of his skin melting because of the heat, the anguished screams of his pack and family and the devastating feeling of his bonds breaking. The only thing making it worse was the clinical scent of hospital mixed with sickness and blood. That scent that said it wasn’t real, that he should wake up, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t move an inch of his still breathing body, but his mind. His mind burned.

***

Stiles didn’t know where he was when he woke up, and that almost got him started all over again. He did calm down as soon as he noticed how quiet it was, and that he had his back against a door. That meant no-one had seen him. He really didn’t want his dad to find out about his panic attacks. He only knew what it was because he had sneaked in some research on the computer while his dad had been busy with work, making sure to delete the history as he went. It hadn’t been terribly hard getting time with the computer without his dad noticing. He took home cases quite a lot lately, and Stiles understood, his dad needed to make up for all the time he had taken off to make sure Claudia got the care she needed, but he hated it too. Because it was always something lately, either his mom or his dads work, or keeping the house together… Not to mention the whiskey, but Stiles didn’t like to think about the whiskey and he did everything he could to help his dad so he wouldn’t need it so much. So he couldn’t tell his dad how he sometimes blacked out because he couldn’t breathe. He didn’t want to be even more of a burden than he already was with his newly discovered ADHD and inability to focus. He hated that he still had them, even when his mom couldn’t really hurt him anymore. She was getting more and more stuck in the bed and he always managed to get away when she got violent. So why did he have to keep having the stupid attacks? He could understand when she still lived at home, and dad was away and anything could happen. But now-

He sighed and took a look around the room, and startled badly when he noticed that there was someone lying in the bed. He managed to keep quiet, thankfully, because he really, really didn’t want to wake the person up and get in trouble. He just needed to be away from his mom until his dad was coming back and it should be over an hour until then. Hopefully, his mom would fall asleep again, and maybe actually be his mom if his dad was there when she woke up. She was usually better when his dad was there. Sometimes she even remembered him again even if she had forgotten earlier. And Stiles lived for those moments. When his mom loved him again and hugged him and told him how happy she was to see him. He would endure the alien that made his mom hurt him for those moments. Even if he fainted sometimes, it was worth it. As long as his dad didn’t find out. At least not about him fainting. He knew that she forgot him sometimes, that couldn’t be helped, but he thought it was better at the hospital where at least Stiles never were far from other adults.

Sometimes Stiles thought that his dad had forgotten why she was there in the first place. Well, not about the disease, that part was hard to forget, but why she was actually emitted full time now. She would probably have been fine with being home for a few more weeks if it weren’t for Stiles. Maybe his dad didn’t want to think about that. How he would still have his wife at home if she just didn’t believe that their kid was out to kill her. But only when she was Claudia. She forgot what she did as Claudia when she came back to being his mom.

Stiles felt like it was his fault she was at the hospital now. He shouldn’t have taken that bath. He had thought he was safe, he had locked the door and his mom had had a good day and had been singing in the kitchen. He had thought he could try for some normalcy at least for a little while. But his mom had slipped away, and Claudia had managed to get the door open and then-

He didn’t take baths anymore.

He wasn’t sure if he should feel lucky that his dad came home before he actually drowned. Everything was awful after that. They had to go to the hospital, and his mom was not allowed to come home with them anymore. She was his mom less and less now. It was like the hospital stole more and more of the time he had his mom and left Claudia in her place. He hated the hospital.

He looked at the bed again. They hadn’t moved at all since he got there. Maybe they were a heavy sleeper? Stiles slowly crept closer and found that the person was a man covered in bandages. Well, what little Stiles could see anyway. He was hooked up to several machines and tubes monitoring all kinds of stuff and probably giving him everything he needed to stay alive. Just be monitoring him though, there were no tubes stuck in his throat giving him air and his heartbeat was steady. So maybe he was a very heavy sleeper, or maybe he was in a coma? Or maybe he was just drugged up to keep the pain away from whatever had happened to him.

Stiles looked the room over, it wasn’t particularly big, and there were no personalizing items, so the man was probably in a coma. He would at least have had a glass of water or something on the bed table if he was at risk of waking up. Satisfied that he had a safe place to be in for the moment he went back and sat down next to the door. He decided against looking at the man’s chart, he didn’t want to know how hurt he was. He just wanted someplace where no one would think to look for him for a little bit. He would soon go back to wait for his dad outside Claudia’s room, but he just needed a little time without anyone asking questions. He hated the questions. At least he was getting better at lying. That seemed like a good skill to have.

***

A new scent disrupted the flames. It was heavy with distress and anguish, so it should have fitted right in but somehow that made everything else pause. The flames were still there, and the screaming and the ravaging empty space in his chest but it was like they got pushed aside by the scent. Maybe it was because it was new, he didn’t know how long he had been stuck in his head but this was the first time in ages that someone else than people smelling like disinfection and hospital had come near him.

They smelled young. Young and in serious pain and for a brief moment he thought that it was one of the pups. That one had survived after all and were there to get him.

It was enough for him to push out from his nightmarish existence, to get a little bit more aware than he had been before. To be Peter again. He still couldn’t move, and everything was sluggish like he was on some high-end drugs especially for werewolves. He was sure that was just an effect of him being severely compromised and on excellent human drugs, there was no one left to help him as he should because otherwise he wouldn’t be in a human hospital to begin with. So he was hurt enough for human drugs to work, but at least he could think again.

And he could hear, and that was not anyone of his. The scent was definitely of a child, but he couldn’t tell if it was a girl or a boy or how old they were. And they didn’t smell like pack. That could possibly be explained by trauma and time, but the child had not made any move to get close to him. And they were completely silent. It was only their heavy breathing and rabbit fast heartbeat that made him sure that they were still there. He forced himself to push aside the disappointment of not having anyone else survive. He could feel how the everlasting fire was trying to get him back with that realization so he clung to the invading scent of the kid. The distressed scent that had brought him a little bit of clarity.  

***

Stiles returned to the room several times during the final months of his mom’s life. He never tried to find out anything about the man whose room gave him somewhere to hide when everything and everyone else became too much for him to handle. The man was not important, he just laid there anyway and Stiles had figured out that no one noticed him at all if he sat behind the door. So the room became his safe space, and he used it more and more as his mom got worse.

Then she died. And Stiles didn’t need a hiding place anymore.

He never came back. He had enough trying to keep their home together and his dad from drinking too much and cooking and cleaning was a lot harder than he thought were really fair so it didn’t take long before he stopped thinking about the hospital at all.

It was easier to forget about it completely.

His dad threw away the bathtub so he could forget about that too. He was just happy that he didn’t get a fear of water from that. It was just the bathtub that was bad, and it was gone so he could forget everything about it.

It was hard to remember his mom instead of Claudia, especially since his dad didn’t talk about either. So Stiles squirreled away all the photos of them as a family so they wouldn’t hurt his dad anymore and made his damndest to push everything that had happened the last half year with his mom away. Because his mom had been amazing, and he couldn’t let Claudia destroy his memory of her.

***

Peter, on the other hand, clung to the memories of those visits. He was still trapped in the burning of his mind, but for each visit, things had become clearer. He became more aware of himself, and he could feel how his flesh built itself back to health. And he could think again. He was still trapped in the memory of his packs brutal murder more often than not, but sometimes he could take a step back and think as it happened.

He had a bit of a backlash when the kid stopped showing up, but they had saved him enough. He was stuck in his head, but he could think and plan and do his absolute best of healing. He would wake up sometime and then every hunter and human who had taken his pack from him would pay. He was the enforcer and protector and if he was doomed to live he would make sure that nobody who had had anything to do with his packs murder would get away unpunished.

And if he ever again smelled the scent of the kid who had saved him he would make sure they were okay. If he survived his revenge he would make them the new thing to take care of. Because Peter Hale was the last werewolf of Beacon Hills, and the kid was probably the only one he could muster up some loyalty enough to live for.


	2. Embedded in my mind

He could feel the red hot rage burning as he ran through the forest. The rage and all-consuming power. The alpha, he had known her, but he couldn’t have known her, she couldn’t have been – it didn’t matter – she was dead now.

He was the alpha, and he ran.

He could feel the tendrils of influence from somewhere, someone who wanted him to come to them, to do as he was bidden. It felt safe somehow, like a warped version of pack but with way more say over him than even an alpha should have. He pushed it away. He was the alpha now, but everything was still fire and burning and all-consuming rage. The world had taken everything from him so the world would burn in turn.

He got lost in the rage and the still ever-present feeling of fire, so he ran. He could feel how his bones changed and the flimsy clothes he had worn were ripped apart as he shifted into his alpha form.  The invading influence began to feel more urgent but he pushed it away. His new form didn’t feel right, he felt twisted and monstrous, but at the same time. It felt fitting. He was an avatar of rage and retribution and no one would get away from him. The last hint of foreign influence was snapped with his transformation and he howled in triumph. He was the alpha now, and no one would stop his revenge. 

***

There were people in the woods again. With dogs. And he hated them. He wanted to tear them apart like he had done the alpha who dared to come to his forest. He was the alpha, he was in charge. And he was going to get every last intruder out of his territory.

He had been stalking the strangers in the woods for a while, they wore uniforms – the sheriff’s department a useless memory gave him – and he wanted them dead. They had let his family burn and they had let the hunters get away with it. They didn’t deserve to live. But they had guns and numbers, and dogs to alert them if he got too close so he stalked them through the woods. Sooner or later he would get his chance to take them out, one by one.

Everything was dipped in a haze, and he had to struggle to keep hidden. To bide his time.

He had learned that they were searching for the body of the intruding alpha – or half the body at least – and he was confused. He had ripped into the alpha and maybe ripped her apart but he had most definitely not moved her from where he had left her bloody carcass after he had won. Or had he? It didn’t feel right, you never moved the body if you killed someone with claws and fangs. Not if you didn’t want to hide it for real, and that hadn’t happened. It was confusing and the confusion pushed at his rage trying to get him to think. But he didn’t want to think. He wanted to rip these intruders apart like he had the alpha. Why should they care for a stranger when they had left his family without vengeance?

As he was about to let the ever-present rage take over and just tear into them and fuck the consequences a  new scent hit his nose.

He stopped, dead still, his rage forgotten. All his attention was on that scent. He knew that scent. It was respite, clarity, and salvation. 

 It was his.

The kid. He was here. And it was most definitely a boy, puberty giving away his gender in a way that children just didn’t.

The boy was still some distance away, and together with another boy. But far too close for him to wreak havoc among the adult intruders. They would have to wait.

He swiftly changed course and set out to get a look at the boy. He wanted to see who had saved him so long ago. Just smelling him again made the everlasting burning sensation lessen somewhat, and he could feel how the maddening rage got pushed back. He was a bit more in control. He was Peter again. And as he felt his mind clear, he had to struggle to keep his monstrous form. He couldn’t change back now, he would be way too visible as a pale naked human.

He despaired over his form. With the rage less in the forefront, he could feel how wrong it was. Grotesque and monstrous like something from a nightmare. He could see how it was fitting though, he still wanted to kill everyone in the woods except his boy, and it took everything he had to not give in to the rage again.

This was not a good plan.

Not if he wanted any chance of getting through his revenge alive.

It most definitely wasn’t part of the plan he had thought about for so long. He would have to have a chat with his ever helpful special nurse when he got back. She most definitely had done something more than just help him get out unnoticed.

***

He realized the boys were caught before they did and slunk deeper into the shadows. His boy was kind of clumsy and made way too much noise to not get noticed, but he was also self-sacrificing and loyal. Letting his friend get away and taking the fall for being out alone in the middle of a criminal investigation.

He was also the son of the sheriff.

Peter had to struggle really hard not to howl at the cruelty of the world when he found that out.

His boy was the son of the sheriff who hadn’t done anything to get him justice. Or, the successor of that sheriff at least. Peter did recognize the man, he had been a deputy before, but it didn’t matter. The sheriff’s department had done nothing to help him. And he wanted them to pay for that. And now he couldn’t.

Maybe the new sheriff was an abusive fuck that his boy would be happy to get away from?

One could dream at least.

But his boy didn’t give any hint of being afraid of his father, so it was not fucking likely. And he really didn’t lie very well. But apparently well enough to let his friend get away. Maybe the new sheriff was a bit gullible? That wasn’t great either, but it would help to keep them out of it. If he couldn’t kill them, it would be better if they didn’t get involved at all.

He still had a revenge to extract.

And he needed to deal with his nurse. She must have some sort of magic if she had been able to get her claws in him without him noticing. He needed something to keep her out. Or, to let her in again but not as deep. He couldn’t kill her yet, he still needed the ruse of being catatonic so it would be better if she didn’t notice that he knew about her deceit. So he needed something to keep her at bay.

Pack would do that.

His boy was out of his reach, but the friend.

The friend was fair game and also headed in a very bad direction if he wanted to get out of the preserve.

Peter would have to steer him right. Be the alpha.

He let go of his struggle to keep control as his boy’s scent got fainter. He had a new beta to get. Not the right one, but.

After all. The bite was a gift, and his boy liked this one.

So he would do.

***

Derek.

Derek was alive.

And fuck everything, Laura had been too.

How could they have left him? Or at least, why didn’t they move him to them after they had found somewhere safe to hide? Because it wasn’t like they had done anything to track down the fucking hunters who had taken out their pack.

But still.

Laura.

***

It was a lot harder to juggle his revenge, his boy and the nurse than he felt was really fair. She didn’t have a clue that he knew she had some sort of hold on him. She thought that he had bought that he could only move during the night and that it was only the alpha power that let him move outside of the full moon.

Ludicrous.

Werewolf healing didn’t work like that.

But she wanted a pet alpha for something, and she was prepared to give him what he wanted in return so he allowed it. For now. She would learn that no one got away with controlling him in the long run. But she was useful at the moment.

He had to be careful about what he asked of her though. He couldn’t let her know about the boy. She had not been happy about him biting the friend after all, so he didn’t want to know what she would do if she found out why he had done it. His boy’s safety was the most important thing.

Well, after his revenge.

A revenge he had to modify drastically.

He had learned that Stiles – a chosen name, he would have to work on the real one – was clever and morally ambiguous, but he was still certain that he would not condone unnecessary death. Not with a sheriff for a father and a best friend who seemed to think that killing murderers were worse than burning innocent people alive. Or maybe only worse than burning werewolves? It was hard to tell with the beta.

The beta who had definitely been a mistake.

Not only did he see things in black and white, but he had also the backbone to keep away from him. With a lot of help from Stiles sure, but it was still unusual with a newly bitten beta to refuse his alpha as he had. It made him dangerous though, he had the control of a puppy who thought he was a wolf and Peter had no way of directing his aggression to the right targets.

And it had backfired spectacularly with Stiles. Somehow the boy had become pro werewolf but anti Peter. Not that he knew who he was, but still. It hurt seeing him immerse himself into the supernatural world, all in the name of defeating the alpha. Not that he blamed him. It was easy to think when stuck in the chair, but as soon as he was out of it… It was harder and harder to control himself. And he wasn’t sure, but it felt like he was missing time. The only respite he got from his murderous rage was when he was close to Stiles – his scent soothing the ache of his missing pack in a way he didn’t really want to investigate too closely – but he had to be careful with that. He couldn’t let anyone know his interest. Not without putting the boy in even more danger than he managed all by himself.

Maybe it was time to get rid of the ruse. He had gathered most of the pieces he needed, even found himself a possible backup plan if he didn’t survive the final confrontation. A stroke of luck he thanked his boy for. He seemed to have a talent to find exceptional people. So he didn’t really need his nurse anymore. And he would probably benefit from being more in control. He really did hope that it was the nurses meddling that kept him from thinking straight as he transformed. Her meddling and his lack of a pack. It had to be the reason.

Stiles could help with that.

Stiles could once again be his salvation.

If he could just get to know him without scaring him away. Let him know him as a man and not only a monster. It would be best if he could meet him without revealing that he was the alpha, but he wasn’t sure he could pull that off. Not with Derek, who somehow had decided that the way to protect the people of Beacon Hills from him was to antagonize everyone he came in contact with. He would know immediately that Peter was the alpha. Well, as soon as the nurse’s influence was gone at least. As it was now, he had no clue. And a lot of Peter’s knowledge on what was happening came from Derek who had taken to visit him and talk at him.

It was infuriating to sit and listen to the boy talking to him like he was already dead. But it was even worse smelling him—so close to the smell of pack—without even a hint of a pack bond between them. It was not surprising that Derek thought him completely lost, how could he not when they had no connection at all between them? And Peter didn’t know if that was something Laura had done, or someone else, but he hated it. And he didn’t know if it could be fixed. If they could ever be pack again. Not after everything both of them had done. For sure, Peter more than Derek, but Derek had let the hunters in and that was… It would be so easy to just let him take the fall for everything, and he was fairly sure Derek would feel like he deserved that. But he just couldn’t. He had already failed the boy three times now, he owed him at least the possibility to live.

No, he would blame everything on the Argents. Especially on Kate, but he didn’t really care if any other of them would get hurt in the crossfire. Chris had had some potential to be a real ally once of upon a time, but he was either complicit or willfully ignorant and Peter wasn’t sure if he could forgive either of those things. The one brief visit from the man had not given him any insight on the matter either. He had not said anything and had smelled too much of wolfsbane to give away any clues on what he was feeling.

Only the thought of Stiles stopped Peter from planning to kill all the Argents just in case. He was sure he would be able to explain the deaths he had caused so far since he had killed no innocent people at all. He had even spared the chemist who had helped Kate with the accelerant, because Stiles scent had been in the classroom, and Peter didn’t want to kill anyone the boy knew. Scare and hurt, sure, but not kill. Even if it had been close. Thankfully Derek had shown up just in time for him to not make that particular mistake.

Derek and Stiles. Two people that mattered. Who both wanted him dead right now.

Yeah, he really needed to get himself under control. He needed to get out of the chair and out of reach from the nurse. But he needed to do it at the right time. He had no idea how much magic the woman possessed, and it wouldn’t do to tip her off before he could take her out. Maybe he could break the connection the next time Derek came to visit. If he played his cards right he could probably get Derek to think he was the reason Peter came back to his senses. That could mend some bridges if he was lucky.

***

It was harder to break the hold than he had expected. He had spent most of the night trying to feel out the bond while she slept, and he had thought that it would be fairly easy to do as soon as Derek showed up. But something had tipped her off during the day, and he had felt how her hold had gotten stronger so he had decided to do it even without the potential backup from his nephew. He was the alpha, he didn’t need anyone else.

Except that he did. She was too deep. And she fought back as soon as she felt him struggle against her. And somehow something inside him rebelled at breaking the only real—even if it was forced—bond that he had.  And he could feel her getting closer. And he knew that he would never get free if he didn’t break it before she got to him. So he pushed and prodded against the hold, trying to get back at the feeling he had had when he broke through before. But it didn’t work.

He was stuck.

Only the unexpected intervention of the scent of his boy intervened.

With that scent, that memory of his savior from before, he managed to break through. He had to force himself to stay quiet when he finally felt the hold snap. He was free. All thanks to the same boy that had given him respite from the fire before. The boy who was in the hospital right now, making his way towards Peter.

He scrambled to get out of sight before he got close enough to see him.

He didn’t want their first meeting being him just barely in control sitting in a chair. No, that was not their first meeting. Not when he had saved him, again.

He had to hustle to find something acceptable to wear, without getting caught by the staff. The fit wasn’t perfect, but it was better than what he had before. He was tempted to do something about his scars but decided against it. It wouldn’t hurt if the boy remembers him being the sanctuary he had needed years ago, and the scars could help with that. And it didn’t hurt to underscore what hunters did either.

He managed to get his hair in order before taking a deep breath to calm his nerves.

He could hear his boy talking to Derek on the phone. That was good. Maybe he could have a pack after all was said and done. His boy getting more and more anxious at the same time his nurse was getting closer was not good though. It was time for him to intervene.

He stepped out around the corner.

“You must be Stiles.”

 

***

Peter inside was in turmoil as he left Stiles behind in the garage. Things were not going well. Derek was taken. Stiles hated and refused him. His reluctant beta would be of no help finally getting rid of Kate. And he was not in control when he shifted.

He was probably worse off than he had been before getting rid of his nurse.

At least he had managed to get his backup plan started. Which had been a lot more bloody than strictly necessary. But she had smelled so much like his boy, it had been infuriating. The boy was his.

But he had rejected him. Shunned him. Why?

But he hoped the girl would survive, there would be no coming back if she didn’t.

But would it really be worth getting back? Derek didn’t believe him when he tried to explain how he didn’t know it was Laura. They still didn’t have anything close to a bond. And his beta was a lost cause. He was too enamored with the huntress to accepting his werewolf side for real. And Peter was sure he was trying to find a way to kill him.

With the help of Stiles.

Stiles who was so sympathetic to Derek, but refused to believe Peter was anything other than evil. It tore at him, the way the boy’s scent turned sour anytime he got near.

Especially since he was perfect.

He was courageous and smart. He refused to give in to his fear. He was stupidly loyal, and Peter wasn’t sure he ever would be able to get to his good side. Not after the puppy and the banshee. Maybe it would be best if she died. Then if he died killing Kate, it would be over. As long as Kate died, maybe it could be enough.

Maybe he could finally get some rest from the flames.

He was getting so tired of the burning.

Well, it was too late to change anything now. Maybe he should just give in to the monster and leave the rest to fate. As long as Kate died. Nothing else mattered.

***

Why did it have to be by fire though?


	3. Nothing to gain

When Peter came too once more he’s kind of disoriented. He made a quip, refusing to show his weakness, and with an evil grin managed to scare the helpful banshee away. She was useful, but he was too vulnerable to make peace with her now, he would just have to deal with her later.

He looked down on himself, he was filthy and only clad in scraps and he really, really wanted to just shift and run away. But he couldn’t leave Derek helpless like that. Not where anyone could find him and take advantage of his unconscious state. And he wasn’t sure he dared to shift either. What if he still transformed into an abomination? He didn’t think he would be able to take that. At least he felt clear minded. The all-consuming grief was still there, but the fire was gone. Dying had been good for something he supposed, not that he wanted to do that again. He was alive and planned to stay that way.

He eyed his nephew, he didn’t look too hurt. He wasn’t sure how the banshee had knocked him out – he had only vague impressions of his connection to her and what he had made her do – but he was sure it hadn’t been brute strength. She was smarter than that.

Hell, he was smarter than that, even when he was just a fragment possessing someone he surely would have better ideas than using strength to take out an alpha. At least for a weak girl with untapped banshee powers.

Maybe he could teach her about her abilities as a thank you. Not that he would let her know why he did that, but just for his own peace of mind. And he refused to apologize for anything. It would be lying, he wasn’t even remotely sorry for being alive. He had already died for what he had done. He had paid enough.

Well, he couldn’t just leave Derek, he was his alpha after all, but they couldn’t stay either. Who knew who the banshee would tell, and who would come investigating. Best to get away before trouble showed up.

He did take the time to scatter all evidence of the ritual first though, no need to advertise that he was back, and made sure to hide all evidence of him ever being buried there. He wasn’t completely sure, but he thought he had managed to put some things in motion so he could come back for real before he died, but even if he hadn’t he could find some way now. As long as there was no actual proof of his death. So a grave was not something he wanted to leave behind.

He managed to lift Derek with a grunt. The man was way too heavy for him to travel far, but he thought he would be able to get at least deep enough into the preserve to hide from most people. And he doubted that anyone with a competent nose would try and find them in the first place. At least not before Peter had managed to get Derek back on his feet and hopefully established a real bond between them again.

***

Things were bad. Derek had accepted him into his pack, but only because he needed help with a kanima of all things. He still didn’t trust him, nor believe him about Laura. But they had a bond, even if it was weak and Peter was safe from going feral. It would have to do.

But he was also weaker than he had ever been before. It was especially jarring since he had been abnormally strong in his monstrous alpha form before. He didn’t think he would even be able to best his lost beta in a fight at the moment. And that boy was as close to being omega you could get without actually losing himself to the wolf.

At least he had someplace to stay, even if it was a rundown motel that only accepted cash. It would have to do until he either managed to get Derek to get a real place or until he got his identity back. He had managed to make it look like he had been transferred to another hospital, and then out of the country – even with a trail of incompetent paperwork that would explain why it had looked like he’d gone missing – so there was that. But he couldn’t come back too soon. He needed people to forget exactly how scarred he had been, and to let enough time go so it would be feasible plastic surgery would have made him gorgeous again.

Frankly, he spent most of his time not researching the kanima as a wolf, but out of sight from Derek and his unruly betas. He was grateful that he had his true form back, but it was still wrong. His original beautiful dark fur was marred with white patches of fur where his original scars had been. He looked like a dog and it was disturbing, he didn’t want anyone to see him too closely. He hoped it would go away but it had been almost two weeks since he got back and it didn’t seem like they were going anywhere. So he kept to himself.

He had managed to find a way to save the kanima though since the boy transforming into it was deeply connected to the banshee there was a chance. But only if she truly loved him, and could get close enough and only if they could get rid of the master.

Who was Gerald Argent now.

Which probably was for the best. Peter had no problems at all getting rid of that hunter since he must have been the reason Kate had burned them in the first place. If nothing else, he deserved to die for raising such a fucked up person and being proud of it. 

***

He followed his boy for a whole day. Just to make sure he was okay.

It still hurt thinking about being rejected. And to be set on fire.

That was unusually cruel. Smart, but cruel. Had it been Stiles’ idea? Using fire to kill the alpha? Maybe. Or maybe it had been the clever banshee. She hadn’t been there, but that didn’t mean anything. It was easier thinking it had been the banshee. And that his boy had just agreed to it because it was a smart plan. And gone through with it because the banshee had been hurt.

Maybe he would ask one day.

Or maybe not. He wasn’t even sure he wanted to meet the boy again. Would it still hurt if his scent got sour as soon as he got near?

Peter didn’t know.

He did know that the boy's scent was still soothing to him. It was like it had replaced the place the smell of pack had in his brain.

So he kept watch over his boy – hidden from sight – as he went through his day. He found it curious that the boy spent the whole day alone during a Saturday. Didn’t he have friends? But the boy spent most of the day in his room, only taking a break during lunch-time to go to meet his dad.

Things were tense between them. With the sheriff smelling confused and hurt and the boy smelling guilty and determined. Peter gathered that Stiles had not told his father about anything.

He idly wondered where his beta was. The boy had followed Stiles out on an adventure in the middle of the night, why weren’t they together when a kanima was on the loose?

Well, Peter didn’t need to meet Stiles to keep him safe. At least this day nobody would come close enough to hurt him.

***

He stood disbelieving looking at the display the ex-kanima and banshee made. He couldn’t believe that had actually worked. He also couldn’t believe the tentative bond he felt to the newly formed wolf. He had no other bonds to Derek’s betas, so why this one? He looked up and noticed Stiles for the first time that night. He looked like he couldn’t believe what had happened either. And also like someone had taken a particular dislike to his face.

He felt a low growl deep in his throat.

That was not the bruises of running his jeep into the warehouse. That looked deliberate. He eased his way closer, trying to get a scent and could only smell vague hints of wolfsbane under the sharp smell of hurt and despair.

Hunters.

He looked at the two hunters that were there, neither seemed to acknowledge the boy at all. Did that mean that they didn’t know what had happened, or that they were guilty? He didn’t know. He looked for Gerard, he was far more likely to be culpable, but the man had vanished. He couldn’t have gotten far though, not oozing black goo as he had.

He looked towards Stiles again. The boy stared unseeing at the display before him, before shaking it off and then slink back into his car, driving off. No one else seemed to notice, but it felt wrong just letting him go like that. He looked towards his alpha, Derek had gone through something awful too, and felt conflicted. But Derek had his beta, and he seemed to do okay at the moment, Stiles had no one. Not even his best friend had noticed his bruises, too busy getting close to the huntress to even care that his friend left. That wouldn’t do. He needed to make sure the boy was alright, or at least safe at home with his father.

He eased back into the shadows again, nobody would miss him, not really. Derek would probably prefer him gone while feeling vulnerable after McCall’s betrayal. He would let the beta who was left to deal with that. He would come back later when things weren’t quite as rough. As soon as he knew his boy was safe.

***

He made his way to the Stilinski residence as a wolf. That was probably the only good thing about his new fur, it made it easier to mistake him for a dog so he could get away with letting humans get a glimpse of him.

When he got close, he could hear the soft sobbing of someone desperately trying to not give in to the tears but not quite managing it. He was home alone. The sheriff had probably been called away to deal with the missing body and that whole ordeal.

He made his way around the house, there was a window half open on the backside, and it was leading to the boy. With some help from a nearby tree, he managed to get up. It wasn’t particularly graceful, he was still weaker than he used to be, but he managed to get inside without making too much noise and that was what counted.

His boy noticed though, and he looked terrified and defiant at the same time. He flashed his eyes and tried to look as non-threatening as possible. It didn’t help much, but he eased up somewhat.

“Peter?” He sounded way too unsure for his liking, Stiles should be defiant and fierce, he had always been that before even when scared out of his mind. He got low and made a whining sound, trying to ask for permission to get closer without groveling too much.

“If you’re here to kill me, please make it quick. I don’t think I can take more pain today.” He sounded resigned and flopped back into bed. That would have to be permission enough.

He silently got closer, and after contemplating his choices, he jumped up on the bed beside the boy. He made sure to have at least some skin contact and then started to leach the pain. It was way worse than expected. He wasn’t sure, but he thought Stiles had at least some cracked ribs if they weren’t outright broken and he had several cuts and bruises hidden beneath his clothes. He whined again but didn’t move closer. The boy seemed to accept him at the moment, and he didn’t want to do anything to change that.

They lay there, side by side. Stiles was tense at first, with a rabbit fast heartbeat and shallow breaths but he relaxed after a few minutes when Peter didn’t do anything else than take the pain. A few minutes more and the boy slowly turned to get closer, like he was seeking comfort but not really sure if he was allowed. He nosed at the nook of his throat and then gave the smallest of lick at his cheek, making sure not to flash any fangs to not scare the boy again.

Stiles let out a broken sob and then committed to hugging him for real.

“Thank you.” The words were quiet, and he wasn’t sure the boy had actually meant to say them so he just pressed close and kept taking the pain. Maybe they could be alright someday. It still hurt that the boy had rejected him, and set him on fire on top of that, but his scent was even better this close and Peter wanted him in his life. And this was a promising start. There would be time to talk about things later, for now, comfort was enough.


	4. Find a single silver lining

He and Stiles had a tentative truce after that first night he spent there. He visited a few more times as a wolf, to take Stiles pain and to just, be there. They never spoke about it when he was in human form.

Stiles refused to talk about a lot actually.

He wouldn’t acknowledge that he had been beaten by hunters, and as far as Peter knew he was the only one who had figured that one out. He wasn’t sure Stiles had tried to process that night at all, if he didn’t count him cuddling close to Peter when he visited as a wolf. He also avoided talking about his father or Scott.

Stiles actually avoided Scott altogether until he healed. Not that the boy noticed, busy pining for the Argent girl as he was, and getting close to the one loyal new beta that Derek had. Well, sort of loyal. Was a beta loyal when he spent a lot more time with a wolf who betrayed his alpha than with anyone else? But at least he hadn’t reject Derek outright. Well, it didn’t matter to Peter. Stiles had made it clear that he had no knowledge of his friend's plan, he would have told Derek if he had. So Derek tolerated him, at least after a few nudges from Peter. Stiles got back to Scott as soon as he was healed frustratingly enough though, forgiving him far more easily than he really deserved. But Peter stayed quiet about that because it meant that Stiles was all up in the packs business to learn everything he could to keep Scott safe. And that meant that he had to talk to Peter.

Stiles had also been distressed to find out about the two missing betas. Peter had followed him to the Argent house one night – confirming who had taken him and that most likely the whole family knew about it – and overheard how he had demanded to know what had happened to them from Chris. Who had let them go, but not told Derek that they had been caught in the first place.

Hunters. Even the sort of good ones were not good enough.

And Stiles had managed to get Derek to start looking for his missing betas for real after he got back. He didn’t tell how he knew, but he was sure they would have gotten back home if they were not in trouble. Peter didn’t really care. Derek had three betas left. Him, Isaac, and Jackson, even if Jackson where in London for the summer. It was enough. And they had bigger problems than missing teenagers. 

There was an alpha pack in town.

Or, at least someone wanted them to believe there was an alpha pack in town. Peter wasn’t sure if he really believed one actually existed. Sure, every born were grew up with the legends of the noble past alpha pack that had formed by alphas who had lost their pack to hunters. There were stories of how they had gotten justice for themselves and other supernaturals wronged by humans. How they had forged the first agreements between humans and packs. How they had made sure no packs would break the peace.

He wasn’t sure he believed anything about it was real. Well, maybe the part where a couple of alphas had worked together to kill all hunters who had killed their packs, he could believe that. But the rest? The alphas should have broken apart as soon as that task was finished. They should have started new packs again and gone their separate ways.

And he absolutely disbelieved that a new one had formed like the one in the legends. No modern hunter would ever kill all betas in a pack and leave the alpha to live.

They had stories too after all.

But Derek had heard rumors about an alpha pack when he and Laura had been on the run. So Peter was doing research on it. There was absolutely a pack out there, claiming to be the Alpha Pack. And it had at least three alphas, but there were claims that up to seven alphas had bonded together, to take out all hunters that had ever hurt an innocent wolf.

Not that they seemed to do much towards hunters, Peter had found evidence of about three that had been killed by weres in places where the pack had been rumored to be. There were far more stories of killed packs. And it was always either dwindling old packs who were weak or unstable new packs who hadn’t gotten their feet under them yet. Packs like theirs. But their symbol had also been found around stable strong packs, but only for a few months before they moved on again. Which sort of had the gossip saying that the alpha pack was making sure that all packs were good and strong, and that the packs that had been killed had deserved it. Which sounded like hunter propaganda to Peter, just from another angle.

So he was definitely more concerned about the alpha pack than he was about a few missing betas. They didn’t need betas with no loyalty anyway. Bad enough that Derek allowed Scott on the outskirts after he had betrayed him. He was a weakness that should be culled, and Peter absolutely hated that he was the reason Scott was even on the radar. That had been a stupid ass decision, but at least it had given them Stiles.

Stiles who had more or less bullied Derek to get a better place to stay. The loft was not something Peter would have chosen, but he wasn’t asked, and it was miles better than anything Derek had chosen before. And Peter would get his own place after the summer. He gathered that half a year was long enough for him to have gotten top of the line medical help and recovered. There were no photos of him from the last years of his coma, and he doubted that many of the hospital staff would remember exactly how bad his scars had been, especially since he had paid to get his records altered. Better to keep the evidence on his side after all. And the internet had only gotten better during his time in a coma. You could get anything you wanted as long as you knew where to look, and had enough money to pay for it.

So he would get back officially when the summer was over, and until then he made do with the loft and the occasional stay at some hotel far enough away from Beacon Hills to not be recognized. But he would feel better when he could get his own place in Beacon Hills. It was uneasy sharing space with Derek, he only tolerated him after all, and he was growing tired of using the Hale vault as a storage space for his stuff. He could probably just get a place in another town, but he didn’t want that. Beacon Hills was Hale territory, it had been that as long as there even had been a town. It had been the home of his pack and he had died to avenge it. Like hell he would give it up now.

***

“So you’re like.. A zombie now?” The boy was still wary of him, but he had started to talk about other things than the mission of finding the betas. Peter guessed he could stand to answer a few questions in hope of getting the boy more comfortable with him.

“There are no such things as zombies. I assure you, I am very much alive.”

“How can you possibly know that there are no zombies? If werewolves are a thing, so can zombies!” Stiles wrinkled his nose in disbelief, looking absolutely adorable. Peter wanted to laugh at him, but didn’t because he couldn’t let out how amusing he found the boy. That wouldn’t go well at all.

“Don’t be an idiot. Werewolves are magic, but we’re still alive. Zombies are walking corpses. Maybe you could get something close to a zombie by using immense amounts of magic to animate a corpse, but it would be much easier to just control a living human. So no zombies.”

“Woah, mind-control is a thing?! Like, could someone mind-control the president and make world war three happen? Wait, does the president know about the supernatural? Do you think he’s a werewolf? That would be superawesome. Like, there is this book where Lincoln is a vampire hunter and they are making it into a movie and do you think it was based on a true story?”

“There are no vampires either. So no, and I doubt that the president is a werewolf. It would be stupidly hard to keep it hidden and nobody wants the public to know. It would be anarchy.”

“What, no vampires either?! Why do you have to shatter all my dreams?!”

“Because you have stupid dreams. Now shut up, I’m trying to read.” He hated to cut the conversation short, but he could hear Derek getting back, and he didn’t want to alert his alpha exactly how much he was inclined to indulge the boy. Nothing good could come out of that.

“Whatever you say, zombiewolf.” At least he smelled amused now, Peter was making progress. He didn’t think too much about how much better he felt after just this brief discussion, Peter didn’t need Stiles. He just, liked him. A little.

***

It was a few weeks into the summer when Stiles stormed into the loft, shouting for Derek. Peter was reading old news, trying to get a feel for what he had missed during his time in a coma. And he was waiting for information from his contacts, so he was taking a break from his research.

“Derek is out tracking with Isaac, I can call him if it’s important.”

“Wha…! Christ, you scared me, well, I guess you’ll have to do. Would the alpha pack kill animals? There have been at least three dead raccoons with a slit throat found and a lot of smaller animals too decomposed to actually say if they were killed by humans or not. And like, you killed deer and stuff, would the alphas do something similar?”

He wrinkled his nose, he hated getting reminded of what he had done under the influence of the nurse.

“Where there any symbols carved on them? I don’t see why they would bother with critters otherwise. Maybe if they had killed something large to show their force, but raccoons? Hardly something worth their time.”

“No, no symbols. So it’s most likely a disturbed human then? Dad will be okay?”

“Well, it depends on where they found them. It can be some kind of magic ritual, but Deaton should have sensed it if that were the case.” Not that he trusted the man to actually inform them about it, but that was a whole other issue.

“Magic? Wouldn’t the alphas use magic? We don’t need magic using werewolves, it’s bad enough what you did to Lydia, what if they get bored with animals and start with humans instead? What if dad gets to close and they take him?”

“Hey, calm down. It’s highly unlikely the alphas use sacrificial magic. Blood magic is really rare, it’s far more likely there is some normal fucked up human that your dad will be able to handle just fine.”

The boy continued to look skeptic, but at least he didn’t smell so distressed anymore.

“What is my life that I’m happy for a normal psycho? Man, I blame you for this.”

Peter was just about to give an affronted answer for that – it wasn’t his fault hunters fucked everything up – when Isaac and Derek got back. Isaac distressed and Derek with a truly impressive scowl.

“Stiles, get Scott to come here, we need to have a pack meeting.”

“Scott doesn’t want to be pack,” the response was automated, but the boy still reached for his phone, “what happened?”

The frown deepened, and Peter kind of missed the old Derek who had at least known how to smile sometimes, “the alpha pack has Erica and Boyd.”

Stiles paled at that and then started to ramble about the killed animals and how they had to do something and Peter had to leave to not give away how the teens distress affected him. It was all well and good to treat Stiles better than any other of the people Derek surrounded himself with, it was a whole other matter to let anyone know exactly how much he cared. Well, Stiles probably suspected, but he kept it quiet since it gave him access to information he otherwise wouldn’t have and Stiles was not one to look a gift horse in the mouth. But Peter knew he was trying to figure out why by himself and was probably coming up with one farfetched theory after the other. But he kept them to himself and Peter was grateful. He didn’t know what to answer, and the truth was definitely out of the question.

He came back down for the meeting, where Stiles had some ideas to find where the betas were kept, Scott wanted to rush out to just storm every abandoned building out there and Isaac kept more quiet than usual. Derek decided that they should investigate where they had caught Boyd’s scent in more detail, but agreed with Scott that Stiles should stay behind. That, unfortunately, left Peter to accompany Scott, since Derek wisely thought that they should go in pairs and that each pair should have an experienced fighter. And Peter understood why he didn’t want to go with Scott, but he would frankly prefer to go by himself than with a boy who would rather have him die than help in a fight. He only agreed because Stiles threatened to come with if he didn’t promise to keep Scott safe and he definitely didn’t want Stiles anywhere near the intruding alphas.

Maybe that was a reason enough to try and get the betas back. A larger pack would mean that he wouldn’t be stuck with his mistake again. Hell, a larger pack would mean that they wouldn’t need to tolerate Scott at all.

***

Well, that could have been a disaster. The alpha pack was definitely an alpha pack. And Ennis was in it. The man had always been hot-headed, but the loss of his pack must have driven him quite mad because he was way more bloodthirsty than ever before. And Derek hated him with a vengeance so he had been sloppy and almost gotten killed. But Isaac had been smart and called for help and Peter and Scott had managed to get there in time to turn the battle. Not that either side had come out on top, but nobody had died at least. And the fight also meant that they were getting closer. So they knew at least the general district they kept the betas in and maybe Stiles could do something with that.

Hell, Peter could probably do something with that, but he was busy trying to figure out exactly who the alphas where. Ennis being one helped. He had been thick as thieves with Kali before, and her pack had vanished too. But he doubted that either of them would have come up with the idea of emulating the alpha pack, so there had to be someone else holding the reins. But knowing two members should make it easier to pin them down. He knew some witches who had lived in Ennis’s territory, maybe they knew something worthwhile.

He also really needed something to get back to full strength, preferably without alienating Derek in the process. His nephew was not the best alpha out there, but he was learning, and Peter didn’t want to lose being pack with him. He was the only family left, and he was sure that Derek would learn to trust him sooner or later. He wouldn’t go so far as to think he would forgive him, but Peter didn’t need forgiveness. He needed a pack he could rely on, and an alpha that was strong enough to keep the territory safe. So he would make sure that Derek could provide that. Even if he had to tolerate teenagers for it.

***

It took them a few days to completely heal up from the fight – Peter took the longest – and he resented every agonizing moment with a vengeance. It did lead to Derek realizing exactly how weak he was, which was both a relief and something he absolutely hated. He had never been the weak one before. He had always been one of their best fighters – even better than Talia with all her epic alpha powers – and some of his methods didn’t work as good when he couldn’t put as much force behind his moves as he was used to. He would learn to adapt, but he needed more time to find a new fighting style that would work. Though he kind of still hoped that he would recover with time and a stable pack, but he needed to be fully accepted by all for that to be even remotely possible. And so far only Jackson seemed to do that – apparently saving his life by killing him had made things square between them – but he was away so he didn’t do anything for pack dynamics at the moment.

So Peter was delegated to research duty with Stiles, with only a little opposition from the boy. Peter thought it was mostly for Scott’s benefit, they got along just fine when it was just the two of them. But Stiles was definitely back in Scott’s camp now that he was completely healed and Scott had lessened his time pining for the Argent girl on another freaking continent. And Scott hated Peter, so Stiles kept his distance whenever he was near. Peter kind of missed the Argent girl just for that. He was sure Stiles would have more time pestering him for information on the supernatural world if the girl were in town to distract his friend. Even if he, according to Stiles, mostly hung around the places the girl liked to be in a hope to see her since they were on a break, he would still not be with Stiles. Because Stiles had apparently realized that stalking the girl he liked was not the way to win her affection, so he had decided to stop doing that.

Because he liked Lydia, and Lydia and Allison were friends. Ugh, teenage drama.

Peter had mostly listened to him complain about how Scott made bad decisions and agreed that stalking was bad. He didn’t say anything about how he had made it a habit to keep track of Stiles when he didn’t have anything better to do. He did it to keep the boy safe, and that was different. Also, he was way too good to get caught. He had the advantage of his wolf form after all, it was easy to blend into the shadows when nobody expected to see a wolf in the first place. People were way more on the alert for lone men than for stray animals.

***

The search for the missing teens was not going particularly well. They had found the place they had been held, but they had been moved before they got there. The place smelled surprisingly a lot more of pack than he had expected from two betas who had rejected their alpha, but maybe they had realized that Derek was the best alternative after all. At least they knew who the alphas were now. Ennis, Kali, two young men – maybe high schoolers or just graduated – and Deucalion. Deucalion who called himself the Demon Wolf and was blind and so far from the idealistic naïve wolf Talia had known that Peter hardly recognized him.

He had finally got some answers from his contacts too. The alpha pack had not been created in an answer to hunters killing their packs. The alphas had killed their own betas for power. It was a perversion of everything a pack stood for, and Peter couldn’t understand how that could work. An alpha got their strength from his pack, not by killing them. Maybe Stiles had been right, maybe the killed animals were the alphas work. Who knew what they would do if they were capable of killing their own betas. Even Peter, when mad from fire and abandonment, had never truly tried to kill Scott. Maybe he would have if he’d thought he’d get power from it, but he doubted that. Stiles loved Scott, and somehow that meant more than Scott being an idiot.

At least Isaac had turned out to be a better beta than Peter had given him credit for. Probably partly because Derek had listened when he made some, suggestions, that it was a mistake to treat bitten weres like born ones. Sure, they could take the same amount of damage, but they hadn’t grown up in a culture where broken bones and spilled blood didn’t actually mean that someone wanted to hurt you. It was better to treat them like humans born into a pack, at least until they understood the difference. It also meant that Derek used less force against Peter when Isaac was near, which made the whole thing worth the suspicion he got back from Derek as soon as he tried to give advice.

 So Isaac had improved. He still hung out way too much with Scott, but since Derek seemed to want Scott in his pack maybe that was a good thing. But the kid had learned control, and was turning out to be quite the accomplished tracker. Peter wouldn’t be surprised if Isaac would be the one to finally find the others, he just hoped they would be able to get them back without losing anyone in the process. Privately he thought it would be better if the alphas just killed them so Derek could move on and maybe bite some new ones, but he didn’t voice that out loud.

He was starting to plot to get Jackson back instead. Apparently, his parents were thinking that London was a good place to stay – gossip from Stiles via Lydia – and that wouldn’t do. That wouldn’t do at all. He didn’t particularly like Jackson, but they had a bond and Derek needed all the betas he could get. Also, Peter had managed to get Jackson permission to stay with the head pack of London, but they weren’t keen on keeping a blue-eyed newly bitten beta with no ties to anyone there. The Hale name didn’t hold enough sway – well not anymore – and it was frankly a minor miracle that he had managed to get the boy the summer in the first place. So he would have to go there to explain the situation to the Whittemores. They had put their heads in the sand far too long, it was time they realized that their kid was not only theirs anymore.

He hated that he needed to do this kind of damage control for Derek, without getting any appreciation for it too, but he had made a piss-poor example for an alpha and he wanted Derek to have the chance to be a good one. There sure as hell weren’t any other candidates in Beacon Hills he would stand in that position. Maybe it would be worth trying to kill one of the alphas to be alpha himself again, but that would leave him without a pack, and he had already tried that one time. He also doubted he could manage to actually kill one of them, he was too weak, and he didn’t want to risk dying in the process. He should probably look into that too, just in case.

Well, one good thing with going to England for Jackson was that he could use it as a way to get back legally in Beacon Hills. If he timed it right he could fly out under an alias and get back under his own name and let the magic of Europe explain his miraculous recovery. The gods knew humans believed the most outrageous stories as soon as they were set in “Europe”. He already had an apartment set up and furnished, he just needed to time it right so the gossip would be in his favor.

***

A few days after he got back from London, only about a week before the school started up for the kids again, they finally caught a break with the missing betas. And true to his predictions, it was Isaac who managed it. Even if they had to take some drastic measures to get the information from him. It was just sheer luck the kid had managed to get away at all, or maybe Derek was getting better at the whole alpha thing. Peter couldn’t say. But they had a location, and they knew the alphas wanted all of Derek’s betas. Peter wasn’t sure where that left him, since no one had tried to get at him at all. Did they know how weak his position was in the pack? Did they think he was too hard to get to? What did they plan with the betas? He knew that usually the whole pack was killed by the alphas, but why did they drag it out as they did? Maybe they wanted to make Derek one of them, but if so, shouldn’t they have contacted him by now? Well, that didn’t matter. They had a location, and Derek had a plan.

A stupid plan, but well, who was he to argue with his alpha? Stiles did that well enough, and a lot safer than he would be. But he kept an eye on it, and made sure that if Derek was getting too aggressive that he focused on him instead. So far, no one had realized the pattern. It paid out to be seen as a selfish snarky bastard, nobody expected him to be anything else. Derek should know better, but maybe he didn’t think about before either. Before the fire he had still been a snarky bastard, but he had put his pack first, always. And just because he wasn’t prepared to go into a fight he had no chance of winning didn’t mean that he didn’t want the best for his pack.

“Hey, so like, why do you think the alphas have kept Erica and Boyd for so long? And even trying to get Isaac? Have they tried to get you too? And we’re sure Jackson is still in London? Well, of course, he’s still in London, Lydia would have said something otherwise. Or more likely stopped talking to me again, like why would she talk to me if she could ask all the questions to Jackson instead? Not that Jackson known anything, but like-“

Stiles stopped talking with a snap, then looked accusingly at Peter like he blamed him for not cutting him off.

“Well, maybe they’ll want to kill the betas on the full moon, it’s symbolic after all, but why they haven’t earlier…” He eyes the plans for the bank thinking. Maybe they want to force Derek to kill them, but to do that…

“So is there any way to find out what the bank was built of?” he asked, and Stiles immediately got into researcher mode and managed to find out that the walls were covered in moonstone. Peter explained that it would keep wolves from turning, and it could turn them mad if they were there for long enough. And if they had been there since they had been relocated from the previous place they were probably getting quite aggressive by now. At least it was almost the new moon, so that should even the field a little. Even if it meant that Derek, Scott, and Isaac would be weaker too. They still had to go to try and stop them since not one of them answered their damned phones.

Once again, Peter needed to fix Derek’s messes. It was getting old.

***

Cora was alive. She was alive, and fierce and all grown up.

He was grateful to Stiles for getting him to help. It could have been a disaster if they hadn’t shown up. It was clear that the alphas hadn’t exactly expected them so soon, but they had still managed to spring their trap. When he and Stiles got there all the wolves were trapped in a circle of mountain ash, with only Kali mocking them outside of it. Derek, Scott, and Isaac were fighting Erica, Boyd, and Cora. And losing. It was never good to fight someone you didn’t want to hurt, especially when they didn’t recognize you anymore. But he had distracted Kali, and Stiles had broken the circle, and they had all managed to flee.

Well, almost.

Isaac didn’t make it. And just as he started to be of use too. But he had stupidly saved Scott from being impaled by Kali, taking the hit himself, and it had been bad enough that they didn’t manage to save him.

Stiles somehow managed to reform the mountain ash around Kali to let them escape. But in the chaos of getting Isaac help – they were too late – both Erica and Boyd escaped. Not that Derek had been able to think about that, he had been too focused on getting Isaac to Deaton with the help of Scott and Peter didn’t give a damn.

 Not when they had Cora back. Cora, who had shifted as soon as she got out of the bank. That had calmed her down considerably, just getting her shift back. Peter could relate, he had endured years without shifting and it had been hell. He had managed to coax her to Derek’s place where he shifted too. They were safe there. He had had the place warded when he got a wizard from San Francisco to do his place so no unwanted alphas should be able to get in. And Cora had relaxed when he shifted, somehow recognizing him even if he was disfigured. Maybe it was the scent. She sure as hell smelled like home to him.

Derek got back to them alone later that night, smelling like misery and heartbreak making it clear what had happened, and he had startled when he had found them shifted in his bed. It took everything Peter had to keep his shift – it was the first time Derek had actually seen what had happened to his wolf – but Cora was better off with him as a wolf so he stayed. He couldn’t look Derek in the eyes though, and he kept as much of the white fur hidden as he could. Derek had just stared at them, and then, with a heavy sigh, shifted and made them company on the bed.

With Derek joining them, finally, a bond snapped into place between him and Cora. It felt like a little bit of the dark empty hole in his chest was healed, and for just that night, he felt accepted and like he belonged. He had his family, his pack, and maybe, just maybe, everything could be alright.


	5. It's just not our time

Things had been calm the days after they got Cora back. She told them about how she’d gotten caught by the alphas when she – against the wishes of the alpha who had taken her in – had started to make her way back home after hearing rumors about a Hale alpha back in Beacon Hills. She hadn’t known that anyone had survived, and had no real memories of what had happened during the night of the fire. She had been hurt by learning that both Derek and Laura had fled without looking for her, and even more upset with leaning that Peter had killed Laura to then get killed by Derek. It was frankly not the best reunion out there, but ultimately she decided to stay.

Peter was relieved by that. She had actually taken her time to learn his side of the story, and he hated to talk about it but he had tried to explain what had happened that night when he killed Laura. At least she understood why he would have thought everyone had been dead, she had thought the same after all. And it was nice to have someone not leery of touching him. She stilled preferred Derek – he was her brother, and alpha – but she didn’t shy away from him. He was sure she would help to bridge the gap between him and Derek. Because she believed him when he told her he hadn’t known who he had killed, that he barely remembered doing it in the first place. So overall, things had gotten better for Peter.

Derek on the other hand, he was a mess. Losing Isaac had broken something inside him, and even getting Cora back didn’t change that. Maybe if Erica and Boyd had gotten back to them it would have helped, but they had ended up at Stiles’ and avoided the Hales for all their worth. According to Stiles – who felt way too responsible for losing Isaac than Peter thought was fair – the two teenagers didn’t feel safe with Derek. They had gotten taken because of him, two times, and they needed time. So Stiles was making sure they were okay. He was also making sure that Scott was okay, since the boy felt almost as bad as Derek for what had happened to Isaac. Peter thought that it was unfair that Stiles should feel responsible for all these kids when he had saved them all in the first place. Who was making sure his boy was okay? Not Peter since he couldn’t go there as long as the Stilinski home was invaded with ungrateful brats. Not his father who seemed to be fully occupied with the outfall of getting two missing teenagers back and the death of a third.

And Derek, Derek avoided everyone. Well, except Cora. But he was getting way too caught up in the idea that he was a bad alpha and that no one wanted him which was stupid since he had his family right there. Peter just hoped that getting Jackson back in town would help. Because that boy would be loyal to Derek even if Peter needed to force him to be. He owed them big time. Be he wasn’t getting back until just before the semester started so Peter needed to be patient. At least the alphas laid low too. Well, probably. There had been more odd animal deaths and it was starting to worry even Peter. It was looking more and more like blood magic, and that was dangerous. He didn’t know where the alphas had gotten hold of someone to sully their soul with that evil practice but it wasn’t good. He just couldn’t understand why they had stooped so low now. It didn’t fit with their previous behavior.

Maybe it was a response to the actual competent wards that Peter had commissioned. But that didn’t fit either, the animals had started dying before the wards had been set. Peter was at a loss. He just hoped that he would figure out what was going on before Derek did something stupid and got himself killed. Maybe Scott would do something stupid first, he was the type after all, but the risk that Stiles would be there right beside him made it bad fantasy. It sort of made him want Argent to get back, blood magic must be against the precious code of theirs and didn’t hunters take pride in making sure that the supernatural community didn’t get away with anything bad? It sure as hell would be a nice change of pace to have hunters being useful. And he wouldn’t lose any sleep if one of them died in the process either.

***

Peter was the first to realize that the sacrifices had escalated. Well, he didn’t know exactly, but he very much suspected. A young man had been found in the high school pool with his head bashed in, making authorities think it was an accident, but Peter thought differently when a young woman was found in the woods strangled to death just three days later. The only thing that was missing was a slit throat and then the trio would be complete. He wasn’t sure what connected the two victims yet, but it didn’t really matter. He wouldn’t be able to stop the next sacrifice, he had too little data for it.

He had started to doubt that the sacrifices had anything to do with the alphas tough, because they had been suspiciously quiet lately. One would think that they would have smelled their weakness after managing to kill one of them and effectively splitting the group completely. They should have gone after them, especially if they were juicing up on human sacrifices. But that hadn’t happened, they had vanished instead. Peter didn’t trust it at all.

And Derek… Derek was a mess, he had managed to welcome Jackson back without violence but hadn’t really stepped up to be an alpha after that. He accepted Cora, and had surprisingly made sure that she could go to school, but he had left Jackson to Peter. He wasn’t really surprised, he had done everything else Jackson-related after all. But it was annoying, the kid was at the same time thankful of getting out of London as he was feeling rejected that his parents had stayed there. And he had talked to Lydia so he was suspicious of Peter. They still had a bond, but it was guarded. He was just happy that he didn’t have to live with him, that dubious honor had been placed with a friend of his instead. Peter didn’t know if the friend knew about Jackson, but he didn’t care. He had made sure the boy had control, and that he knew who to call if he needed help. It would have to do until he was needed.

So he hoped that whoever was sacrificing people was not affiliated with the alphas. In an ideal world, they would be out to fight them and if so, Peter would only need to make sure that his pack stayed out of it. Well, his pack and Stiles. Stiles wasn’t exactly pack yet, but Peter wanted him to be. He knew it was stupid caring so much for a boy only because he had been at the right place at the right time, but he couldn’t help it. Stiles was his, and he could only vow to never let the kid know how much power he held over him. He wouldn’t die for the kid, but he would kill for him and well, abstain from killing for him which was way more likely. The boy could never know. Or anyone else for that matter. It was better pretending he did everything because of family. It wasn’t a lie after all. Just, nobody needed to know that Stiles had wormed his way into being family when he had stumbled into his room disrupting his nightmares. Scent was such an important decider for wolves, and Stiles, he just smelled right.

***

Peter was looking into the latest victim of whoever was sacrificing people when there was an insistent knock on his door. He could hear the rabbit fast beating of Stiles’ heart and he was intrigued. Why was the boy here? He hadn’t told anyone where he lived and it was interesting that Stiles had not only found out but also actually acted upon that knowledge. He had never shied away from talking to him at the loft, but he had also never actively sought him out either.

There were some more banging on the door and he decided to let the boy in before the kid started shouting too.

The boy stumbled a few steps backward when he opened the door, pulse racing even more than before. He looked messy and had a hard time to focus on Peter and he smelled like cheap whiskey, fear, and desperation.

“Stiles.” He had to force himself to not give away his disdain for the state the boy was in, falling back on his usual smirk and raised eyebrow. He had never seen the boy drunk, and he didn’t like it.

“Peter! You’re home! I thought… I thought…” his speech was slurred and he swayed as he talked and started to take some stumbling steps forwards. Peter quickly grabbed his arm to keep him from falling over.

“I see you’ve joined the age-old tradition of underage drinking. What on earth made you think it was a good idea to come here?” Maybe he could have sounded nicer, but he didn’t appreciate that the boy needed to be drunk to seek him out. He thought they had started to become sort of friends. None the less, he led the boy into his home so he could close the door behind him. No need for gossiping neighbors to get any more to talk about.

“I need, I need… I need y…” Stiles stopped dead in his tracks and widened his eyes when they got to the living room and he saw Peter’s TV. “Woah! …awesome.”

“Why don’t you sit down on the couch and tell me why you’re here, I very much doubt you needed to get drunk to appreciate my living conditions.”  He dragged Stiles over to the couch and pushed him down on it, he didn’t care much for this version of the boy.

“…Right,” Stiles shook his head – probably trying to clear it – and took a deep breath. “Youhavetofuckme!” The rush of words was almost too fast for Peter to make out. He didn’t know what to think.

“What?”

“You. Have. To. Fuck. me!” And Peter actually flinched away from the desperation the boy sent out. He immediately regretted that reaction because Stiles looked hurt and his scent turned even more sour as he continued. “They’re killing virgins! Virgins Peter! I’ma virgin, they killed Heather and she would’ve been alive if I just hadn’t taken so long to find a fucking condom, why didn’t I have one on me? Or asked Scott, like he always has condoms nowadays, but noo. I went to search the freaking bathroom and now she’s dead and I don’t want to be next… So you have to fuck me, because… because you care! I think, at least you stare an awful lot and you did the whole making sure I was okay as a wolf and stuff, but no freaky stuff, just, I need to lose my virginity and you. owe. me!” He was starting to hyperventilate at the same time as he started to wrestle with his shirt, like he had a script he followed and just expected Peter to comply.

Peter sighed, he did owe Stiles, but not this. He carefully took Stiles’ hands before he managed to actually rid himself of any clothing.

“Why me?”

“Because… because creepywolf! You, look at me always. …and stuff.” It hurt hearing those words. Maybe he kept a closer eye on Stiles than anyone else, but he hadn’t thought he had come off as creepy. He was just fascinated, but the boy had definitely drawn the wrong conclusions.

“No.”

“What you mean no?! You bit Scott! You owe me!”

“You’re drunk, your father is the sheriff and you’re underage.”

“F’ course m’ drunk! I’ma bout to get fucked by murderous zombiewolf, I need to be drunk!”

“And that’s another reason why I’m saying no, you don’t want me Stiles.” He could smell some hints of arousal, but it was old, and overshadowed by desperation and fear. Not very inviting at all.

“But… I don’t want to die.” He bit his lower lip, and looked with big slightly red eyes at Peter. “Please.”

“Sweetheart, you won’t die. The latest victim was not a virgin, I’m sure of that.” Well, the man could have been, but it was highly unlikely since he was in the Air Force and handsome. Also quite boisterous online of his conquests, tacky but Peter had gathered that it was a thing kids did nowadays. Putting their whole lives online for anyone to see.

“Wha… Not a virgin? But.”

“Whoever is sacrificing people have moved to the next set. They usually come in three. Sometimes five, but usually three. So the first set were virgins, I don’t know what the next set is, we really do need at least one more victim before we can guess, but they have moved on from virgins. You are safe. At least from that threat.”

Stiles looked dumbfounded, like he couldn’t really believe what Peter was saying.

“So… you won’t fuck me?” He looked like he couldn’t decide if he was happy or disappointed by that, but he lost a lot of the rancid anxiety scent, so Peter was sure it was more of the former.

“No Stiles, I won’t.” He let go of his hands, and stood up from the crouched position he had been in in front of the boy. He hoped Stiles would forget about this night in his drunken stupor, but doubted that would happen, especially since he had seemed to sober up a bit during their talk. He did collapse deeper into the couch when Peter let go of him though, so maybe he would get lucky.

“How about I get you some water and then we’ll get you to bed.”

“But..! You said?!”

“To sleep Stiles, you are in no condition to drive yourself home, and I for one don’t want to be caught by your father with you in this state. I’m sure he thinks you’re somewhere else for the night?”

“…he thinks I’m at Scott's… Didn’t drive, m ‘car’s too… recognizable… don’t want anyone knowing...”  He sank down a bit more on the couch, letting his head fall down against the backrest. “Also, I’m drunk! Can’t drive drunk! M’ dad’s the sheriff… would be…  scandal.”

Peter declined to comment on that. Or ask how the boy had gotten there in the first place, he just hoped he hadn’t walked. That would be especially stupid with alphas running around and people being sacrificed all over the place. He fetched a glass of water instead, and made sure the boy drank at least half. He then managed to get the boy to the guestroom, pointing out the bathroom on the way but highly doubting he would use it. He was flagging fast, it was like he had run on adrenaline and as soon as he knew he wouldn’t get what he had come for he just let go of everything.

Peter didn’t know if he felt good of being trusted like that, or if he should scold the boy for being so careless. He should probably be thankful that he had come to Peter, and not gone out to a club or anything else equally stupid. Like going to Derek. That would have been. Not good.

He avoided thinking about why he didn’t want Stiles to go to Derek. Or anyone else for that matter. The boy was his after all. He had never thought about him in a sexual way, he was too young, but still. Maybe it was something to think about, he had looked awfully tempting begging. Just, not when drunk. Maybe someday, when he had grown up a little. And had learned that Peter actually cared about consent. It wasn’t flattering that the kid had thought that Peter would take advantage of him like that. He may be morally grey, and be a bit fast to kill, but he didn’t rape. He wasn’t a monster.

***

He wasn’t surprised that Stiles was gone when he got up the following morning. It was to be expected. He was surprised that the boy had managed to sneak out without waking Peter, he must have freshened up since Peter found damp towels in the bathroom, and the shirt he had left there in case Stiles wanted to change was gone too. So he should have heard the boy making noise, he wasn’t the most graceful of creatures after all. But maybe the late nights researching had taken its toll. Or maybe he just trusted Stiles. It was stupid but since nothing seemed out of place or missing not worth getting worked up for. He would probably have to let the boy have a few days before trying to talk to him again though, he knew Stiles was a fan of avoiding situations until they solved themselves, and in this case, time would probably help to avoid embarrassment. He didn’t want to drive the boy away, not after all his hard work to get close.

Peter dedicated his time to research, getting to know Cora again and trying to mend his relationship with Derek. Cora helped a lot with the latter, but it was still tense. But his new girlfriend was a godsend. She was sweet and harmless and Derek was slowly getting over Isaac with her help. He didn’t love that Derek had told her about the supernatural, but it couldn’t be helped since she had helped save his life after an ill tempted attack on the alphas. She wasn’t a hunter at least, so it should be okay. They had gotten rid of Ennis after that too, but Peter wasn’t sure that was a good thing. He was certain Deucalion had been the one to finish the man off and that could mean that he had become even stronger.

The fights with the alphas were somehow mostly done at the school after that. It was weird and kind of stupid but he wouldn’t complain if they kept it to sort of silly school ground antics dialed up to the max if it meant that he didn’t have to face Kali or Deucalion. At least now the betas seemed to realize they needed to work together even if Cora and Jackson belonged with the Hales whereas Erica, Boyd, and Scott most definitely did not. Lydia was the most conflicted, she hated Peter so she avoided him like the plague, but she loved Jackson and he needed an alpha. And he preferred the Hales to Scott’s group anyway, so it was a bit of a mess. But Peter stayed out of it, Derek needed to step up to become a competent alpha and if Peter tried to fix everything that would never happen. He did try to figure out what he could do to make Lydia accept him, but gathered that only time would do.

So he researched and tried to find ways to get rid of the alphas and maybe stalked his boy. Just a little bit. To make sure he was okay. Because he sure did try to be in the middle of everything, even when his only defense often was a baseball bat. But he was smart and he most often let the wolves fight, so Peter hoped he would be okay. He didn’t seem to be targeted by the darach at least. And he was sure it was a darach now, there had been too many nature-related attacks for it to be anything else. They had also changed their M-O. From killing on site they had changed to kidnapping. Probably to sacrifice their victims at a location to give them more power, and maybe by some other method. A darach could do a lot with blood magic after all.

He had contacted the witch he had do the wards earlier to try and get some sort of protection against them, but he needed to go to him this time and he wasn’t sure he could leave Beacon Hills at the moment. Who knew what stupid plans Derek would agree to if he wasn’t there to talk him out of it. But, since he had agreed to attack the alphas at their own home even against Peter’s advise… Maybe he being there didn’t do enough difference to matter.

***

Peter ended up rushing to his witch, hoping for not only something to fight the darach but also something to cure Cora. He got the first one, but not the latter. It was a fool’s hope, but it was all he had. He got back in record time, only being away for about five hours. Coming back just as a storm was rolling in. Cora was getting worse, and Derek didn’t fare too well either. Finding out that your girlfriend was probably the one killing people after almost been made to kill one of his betas had not been good for him at all. Boyd had only survived because Jackson had tackled one of the twins at the last moment. Peter hadn’t even realized that Derek still thought about Boyd and Erica as pack. How could he? They had rejected him. Biting someone only went so far as responsibility went. It wasn’t like Peter felt any responsibility at all for Scott’s welfare. Maybe if he had been loyal to at least Derek, but not when he rejected the Hales as vehemently as he had.

He changed places with his nephew telling him to get home to get some rest. He didn’t say anything about why he left in the first place. It hadn’t panned out, and now… He needed to think and Derek needed to be away from the hospital for at least a few hours.

Times passed and Cora got worse as the storm grew larger. It had maybe been a few hours when he noticed that the hospital had become way more chaotic than it should be. He managed to hear that they were evacuating because of the storm and it chilled something in him. The storm couldn’t be natural, not with everything else going on. And he needed to protect Cora.

Everything was in chaos after that. Cora was vomiting black goo, Derek was on his way with the darach, the alphas attacked. Frankly, he was amazed that they managed to get Cora out of there without anyone dying. And in the end, it’s just him and Derek in Peters place – he didn’t want to force Derek to get back to the loft after all that had happened there. The darach had vanished somewhere with Scott’s mom. Stiles father was missing. Scott had last been seen talking to Deucalion. Maybe he thought being a newly minted alpha would make them allies. He didn’t know where Stiles had ended up at all. Maybe somewhere with the other betas and the Argent girl. He didn’t care. Cora was dying.

Cora was dying.

Derek was taking her pain and looked exhausted. He was on his last rope too. Peter hesitated before saying anything. “There may be a way you can save her.”

“How.” Derek almost growled the word out.

“It’s a legend. Only an alpha can…” He wasn’t even sure that the legend was true. He’s never heard of a modern alpha who gave up their power for someone else. One individual wasn’t usually worth disbanding a whole pack. But. Cora was dying.

“Tell. Me.”

“You have to give up your alpha spark. You have to will her to live so much that you give up your power for it to happen. ”

“It would save her?”

“Maybe, I’ve heard it’s like the bite. It can work. Or not. It can quite possibly end up with her no better and you dead. Giving up the alpha power like that… It’s no easy feat.”

 Derek just nodded and went back to Cora. She was deathly pale. Peter hated the whole situation. Of course, Derek would choose Cora over power, hell, even he would probably risk it. But they will end up without an alpha, and this was not a good time to diminish their power. He most definitely would have preferred to have the darach there and force an alternative out of her. She would have to die for this. This was twice a woman had fucked over their family by using Derek and making a fool out of Peter in the process. He had killed Kate, he would kill this one too.

He watched as Derek started to pull Cora’s pain again with a determined look on his face. He only felt calm over the bond, no hesitance at all. And then, suddenly. Derek collapsed and Cora awakened. And Peter felt how all his pack bonds diminished. They didn’t disappear. But there was no alpha.

No alpha. No pack.

Sooner or later the bonds would disintegrate completely, and he would be alone again.

***

Everything was starting to culminate. Peter could feel it. Derek was still out cold, but Cora was watching over him. He knew Kali would be on her way, but she didn’t know where he lived and would have no way of getting in without serious help from a magic user. He didn’t think she would get that. So he wasn’t worried about them at the moment. Not until Derek woke up. Derek would probably want to fight Kali, to throw his life away for his killed beta. But maybe, if he and Cora helped, maybe he would win.

And they would have an alpha again.

It was unlikely though.

But still. At the moment, they were safe. Peter was much more worried about Stiles.

Stiles who was lying seemingly dead in a tub of icy water together with the new alpha and the huntress. Peter had to focus all he had on his family for not giving in to his wolf when he heard that. It was dangerous caring this much for such a reckless boy. Following stupid plans, risking all in a fools quest to find the Nemeton, to break its bond to the darach and save their parents. Peter would kill Deaton if his boy didn’t come out of it alive. He almost cursed Jackson for telling him when he couldn’t do jack shit about it.

Jackson who had called freaking out because he had felt what had happened to Derek. The boy wasn’t even worried about him either, he had been worried about what would happen to himself.

Peter could relate.

It wasn’t like Jackson had made a secret of why he had thrown his lot in with the Hales. He needed an alpha, and Derek had been it. It wouldn’t surprise Peter if Jackson either tried to kill one of the alphas in the alpha pack or shifted his loyalties to one of them if they managed to break the pack apart. Maybe to the nicer one of the twins. The one who was dating the boy he lived with. But it was probably more likely that he would try to kill the other one. Because that one had tried to seduce Lydia from him and Jackson was not happy about that. Not happy at all. Frankly, he should thank Peter for not losing his girl.

So Jackson was a wild card at the moment. But Peter didn’t care. As long as he didn’t try to kill him or his family the boy could do as he pleased. He had served his purpose. He had helped get Cora away from the hospital, and he had told Peter about what was going on. And now he was helping to keep his boy safe. It was enough.

So Peter was forming plans. He was sure it would end with the darach and Deucalion facing off, and he hoped that one of them would die in that confrontation. He would have to be close enough to finish off the other one before they got their strength back and the charm he had gotten from his witch would probably help with either case. It would mask him from any detection, both supernatural and common, but it didn’t last long. So he would need to be somewhere close to the action without risk getting involved.

He would not survive a fair fight with either Deucalion or the darach.

 He just needed the location for the final fight. There were three likely places, the Nemeton, the old distillery in the preserve and Derek’s loft. It all depended on who would choose. It would be the Nemeton if it was up to the darach, the distillery if it was up to Deucalion. If Derek decided to get involved it would probably be the loft. If he managed to get them to come to him. Well. Kali would come. She blamed Ennis’ death on Derek, so she would seek him out. And the darach would seek her out which would get Deucalion. So it all depended on Derek.

The loft was a bad place to fight though, too much risk of getting attention from the human world. Maybe he could push Derek for the distillery? Or should he just, try and find the Nemeton by himself? He had found it before, he should be able to do it again. Stiles sure as hell would appreciate if he managed to save his father, but he would risk meeting the darach, and he can’t face her at her full power. Not when she was connected to the Nemeton. He would have if Stiles had asked him, especially if it had kept him from risking his life. But as it was too late to do anything about that now… Maybe the distillery was the place to be.

***

Stiles lived, Jackson betrayed Peter’s home to Lydia and the less dangerous twin and somehow Cora managed to talk Derek out of taking on Kali. And apparently, Scott had thrown his lot in with Deucalion with Deaton’s blessing.  Peter didn’t care to stay after that, if Derek and Cora wanted to leave town he would let them. As long as they were safe, he could seek them out later. When he had finished all loose threads in town. He needed to make sure that Stiles stayed alive, and that Deucalion and the darach didn’t. So, he had made sure that everyone left before he locked his apartment up and went to search for his boy.

He went to the distillery first. He knew that Stiles wouldn’t be there, but he needed to get his scent on the place so it would be easier to sneak back later if the fight would end up there. It was completely abandoned when he got there, but he saw marks left from Deucalion and his scent was new. He definitely would get back there. Peter managed to find a secure corner that could be accessed without going in through the door and he clawed a gash on his arm to spill some blood there. He made it look like he had taken refuge there when wounded but left after healing. No one would make him by smell alone when he got back. And he wouldn’t try to sneak in if the fight wasn’t going strong. His heartbeat would vanish in the noise of combat. The brewing storm would help too. It should work. One of them would die, he would activate his charm, and then kill the other one. He even had a knife with him if the lunar eclipse would keep him from using his claws. Hopefully, not too many of the teenagers would get there to get in the way, but it didn’t matter. Neither Deucalion nor the darach would leave Beacon Hills alive.

He made his way back out into the preserve, time to hunt down the Nemeton and Stiles. He got distracted from his goal when he felt Cora and Derek deviated from the plan through the bonds. Something had made Derek change his mind and he was fighting. Probably Kali. He sent an angry text to Cora asking what had happened, but he was too far away to make a difference. He just hoped that Derek and Cora weren’t alone. That they at least had some of the teenagers by their side. But he needed to find Stiles, so he pushed the emotions he got from the bonds away. At least that was easy because of the lack of pack alpha.

He knew he was on the right path when the weather got worse. It was getting close to being a full-blown storm and he could bet his left hand on that the epicenter would be the Nemeton. He wouldn’t be able to use scent before he got a lot closer, but it didn’t matter. He would go towards the storm and keep all his senses out for signs of Stiles. It would have to work.

***

It did work. Sort of. He probably wouldn’t have found Stiles if he hadn’t crashed his car, but he did and the noise had been loud enough for Peter to pick out. It still took way too long for him to get there so he was near panicked when he finally reached the vehicle.

His heart almost stopped when he found his boy bleeding from a nasty cut on his head. He managed to get his boy out of the wrecked car and carried him into the shelter of a nearby tree. He took the boys pain, trying to ascertain the amount of damage but he couldn’t sort it out. The scent of him was off, but he didn’t know if it was due to the ritual he had been through or if it was the crash.

“Why are you always so reckless with your health, you’re human, you don’t heal like the rest of us.” Peter carefully sat down with Stiles in his lap. Trying to keep the boy warm while keeping his neck and head steady, he knew it was bad to move humans when hurt but he knew too little about cars to trust that the jeep wouldn’t catch fire. He wanted to howl for help from his pack but he didn’t really have one anymore. Derek and Cora were still alive, but, they didn’t have an alpha. And they were probably fighting for their lives. So it’s far more likely that an enemy would hear him than that someone who could help would. So he just sat there, trying to keep calm, to keep his boy as safe as he could.

He should probably call an ambulance, yes. Stiles was human, so human help should work.

He fumbled after his phone, careful not to shift the boy in his lap when said boy moaned and blinked open his eyes.

“…Wha…” he started to struggle when he saw who was holding him. “Peter?!”

Peter resisted keeping hold of him, letting him go instead. “You crashed your car, I found you, I got you out.”

“What are you… ow, doing here?” Stiles struggled to get on his feet. He was slurring his words a little, making Peter suspect that he had a concussion.

“I was trying to find you. What were you thinking, almost dying like that?! Why didn’t you ask me for help?” It was hard to keep from helping the boy, but everything about him screamed that he didn’t want Peter to touch him. So he didn’t.

“Why would you? You didn’t help me before, when.. when…” he looks away, looking ashamed.

“Darling, you asked me to take advantage, I could never do that.” The boy flinched at his words, so he quickly continued. “Of course I would help you find your father. I if anyone understand how important family is.”

“Dad! I have to go!” Stiles abruptly turned around, and stumbled to his car, got out his bat and then started to march deeper into the preserve. Peter hurried after, keeping an eye out to catch him if he would fall. He wanted to protest, to take Stiles back in town, to the hospital, but he knew it was pointless. So he followed, making sure he didn’t hurt himself even more.

Stiles managed to lead them to the Nemeton before the storm made the cellar under it collapse. The opening in was blocked and Peter helped Stiles clear it enough so the boy could squeeze through and with the first glimpse of the cellar below Peter found himself flashing back to another time when he and Derek had hidden there from hunters. It was brief, but when he shook that memory off Stiles had already saved the day. But they were all trapped down there, the opening they made for Stiles was closing back in and Peter started to desperately keep it open but the lunar eclipse had him crippled. He was not strong enough to make it and once again, he found himself trapped outside with no bonds to anyone. At least he was not burning this time. And he had heard both Stiles and his father alive before the hole closed completely. He just had to keep from panicking until the lunar eclipse ended.

***

He got his strength back at the same time that the storm ended. It made him feel divided. The storm ending should mean that the darach had died, and if so, he was too far away to do anything about Deucalion. And he didn’t know what had happened to the other alphas. Everything was falling apart. Should he just stay there and get Stiles and the rest out? He had never actually met the sheriff, being seen as a savior would be a good first impression. But if he ran fast, maybe he could get to the distillery before Deucalion escaped. Or in a pinch, he could get a jump on one of the other alphas, he needed to get one of them. He hadn’t gotten his bonds back to anyone, and he couldn’t live without a pack. And Scott would never accept him in his.

A text from Cora made up his mind. The darach was dead, Kali was dead and Deucalion was healed and let go by Derek and Scott. She didn’t say anything about the alpha twins but he gathered that at least the nicer one would have to be safe from him since he had helped them. And that meant that the other one would have to be too. And with Deucalion pardoned by both Scott and Derek… It was too late for him to get rid of him this day. Not without getting on Derek’s bad side. So he would start with getting Stiles and his father out. And after that, he would have to come up with a new plan to get rid of Deucalion. Without Derek knowing about it.

He started to shift debris out of the way. It was heavy work but he soon heard efforts being made from the other side of the blockage. Apparently, both Boyd and Erica had helped the huntress finding the Nemeton and had kept the cellar from collapsing before Stiles had gotten there with his bat. He didn’t understand why they had been with Allison instead of Stiles, but he didn’t particularly care either. The three of them managed to clear to opening and get all the humans out and together they managed to get all the humans back to civilization. And Peter even got a thank you from both the sheriff and the elder Argent. It was almost like he was a new man.

That didn’t stop him from going back to the distillery as soon as he knew everyone he cared about were safe. He needed to make sure that nothing there could come back and bite them in the ass.

It was good that he did. He found the tracks of the thought to be dead darach and followed them towards the Nemeton. That would just not do. He slashed her throat before she had the chance to react and found himself filled with power. It’s intoxicating. He felt better than he ever had since getting back to life.

He also felt tainted.

This power was stolen from humans. It would corrupt him like it did the darach. He still thought about keeping it. With this power, he wouldn't need a pack. He would be able to stay somewhat sane alone.

But he would also probably need to kill to keep it.

He didn’t want to do that.

He didn’t particularly care for killing. Sure, he had never balked from doing what was necessary. But killing to keep a tainted power… That was not something he would be able to live with without changing to something no one in his family would accept. And he wanted them to accept him. He was almost there with Derek. Cora had already made clear that she understood him. And Stiles… He had made leaps of progress with the boy this night. He wouldn’t undo it for power.

He took a deep breath and released the power into the Nemeton. Hoping he did the right thing.

He felt calmer after. And he also knew exactly where Deucalion had gone. He took it like a thank you from the tree and also a blessing. If the tree agreed that the mad alpha should die, who was he to question that?

***

He killed Deucalion just outside of the town’s border. The man didn’t see him coming, the charm made sure of it.


	6. Even if I'm crazy

“You killed him?” Derek’s tone was furious but Peter thought he looked a bit relieved too. But in a guilty way. Ugh. Morals.

“Yes.”

“I let him go! We don’t just kill people! We’re better than that.” Definitely leaning into the anger now.

“He didn’t deserve to live. Not after what he had done.” Well, Peter could get angry too. He hadn’t done anything that didn’t need to happen anyway.

“You don’t get to decide that! Mom… Mom wouldn’t-“

“Talia did. Not often, and usually not herself. But she did kill for our pack when it was necessary. And she most definitely would not have forgiven Deucalion for what he put you through, for what he put Cora through. And for all the packs he killed in his mad search for power. He was even worse off than me, and you had no issues with ending my life.” He growled out the last part. They had never talked about Derek killing him. Peter had thought that they didn’t need to. He had accepted that Derek had thought it necessary. Hell, he had probably been right, because Peter had let go of his last holds on sanity with Stiles’ rejection. But apparently, they needed to talk about it now.

“What?! No! Mom wouldn’t! She said-“ and Peter hurt for causing Derek this much harm again. But he needed to learn. He couldn’t afford to stay naïve in this matter. Cora stood silent and just listened to them. She didn’t talk about before either. Not ever. She was like Peter in that regard. It was better to push the memories away because it hurt too damn much to think about all they had lost. But he would try, for Derek.

“We're predators, but we don't have to be killers. Yes. And she held to that. She never killed if it wasn’t necessary. Hell. She didn’t have to most of the time. Because everyone knew not to mess with us. We didn’t have rouge alphas sniffing our way trying to take the territory from us, because the one time one did, Talia killed them. Because they were threatening our pack. Her pups. And she would do anything to protect you, us. But that was when she was a very new alpha, and you were just a baby. She didn’t need to take those measures often. Because she was good at what she was.” He closed his eyes, willing them to stay dry. “And she had me. She didn’t need to kill, because I did it for her. But only ever to protect our pack. Never only for vengeance or for the hell of it. Killing for vengeance… That became an obsession after it was all I had left.” He sat down on the couch, feeling utterly exhausted. He hated talking about this. He thought he had explained this before. But apparently, it hadn’t been enough. At least Derek had calmed down, looking more shocked than anything now.

“I can’t be without pack Derek. I just can’t. And Deucalion, he was mad. He caused so much anguish and terror amongst innocent werewolves that… He was the best option. Don’t you see that? He put both you and Cora through torture. I couldn’t just let that go. Who knew when he would decide that he wouldn’t just stand for losing half if not all of his pack here? He was a threat, and an opportunity. And it’s better that he’s dead. He can never come back and hurt any of you again.”

“I… You… Mom killed someone?” Of course, Derek would latch on to that part. Peter sighed.

“Yes. She didn’t like it. But she was a new alpha. She knew that if she was merciful with that first breach of her territory, that first attempt at a takeover, there would be more. So she killed the alpha but let his betas go. She even made sure to get them accepted into other packs. She was fair, but smart. And sometimes you have to kill. But she wasn’t a killer. Not like the alpha pack was. And she never wanted any of you to have to do that. She knew that Laura probably would be forced too, but she was trying so hard to make packs work together so the future would be better.”

“…She never told me that. Why didn’t she tell me that?”

“Because she hated to think about it. And you were so young.”

They all stayed silent, thinking. After a while, both Derek and Cora sat down on each side of him, not quite touching, but getting there.

“Now what?” Cora asked, with no real inflection or emotion in the words.

“I don’t know.” Derek didn’t sound any better.

“Any of you want to be alpha?” Peter couldn’t actually believe that he asked that, but if one of them said yes he would stand by it.

“What?!”

“You’d give it up?! Why?!”

“Well, I didn’t do a stellar job the first time, but I need a pack. And I need you to be in it. If it takes giving up the alpha spark to one of you… It’s a price I’m willing to pay.”

“I sure as hell don’t want it. Derek?”

“I… No, I… I don’t think I can bare it right now. Erica and Boyd… They don’t need me anymore, Scott has accepted them into his pack. And Jackson… Jackson only ever accepted me because you made him. He didn’t want me.” Derek took a deep breath before continuing. “You won’t go crazy this time? No more killing sprees?”

“I won’t go crazy if I have a pack. Do I?” And he curses that they all sat next to each other because he couldn’t look at both of them at the same time. He looked down on his knees instead, not wanting to hope, but hoping so much that they would accept him.

It felt like hours before he finally got a tentative answer from Cora.

“You’ve got me. I kind of left my old pack on a sour note, so I don’t like the thought of going back begging to be let in again.” She surprised him by shuffling her way in under his arm to cuddle up against his side. He drew her closer, relishing in the contact, their bond snapping back in place with her acceptance.

“I guess… I guess I can give you a chance. But only one. I won’t hesitate to put you down if you go all psychotic again.” Derek only lean enough onto him to get contact, but it was enough. He accepted him so their bond was back in place too.

The two bonds were brittle, and they would have to work on trust but it was enough at the moment. He had a pack again.

He was the alpha.

His pack was safe.

All was good in the world.

***

They had a few calm weeks after that. Peter managed to get Cora and Derek to move in with him, it wasn’t ideal but it was better than the loft. The loft could burn for all that Peter cared, but Derek was stubborn and was renovating it instead. Peter paid a witch a stupid amount of money to get her to interlace new wards with the renovations. If his nephew wanted to live in that place it should at least be made as secure as money could buy.

He really should start searching for a competent emissary. But he wasn’t sure he could find someone he would trust. So the witch would do. She was trustworthy enough as long as you paid her and made sure to be very specific in what you wanted.

Living together was a bit grating. The apartment was not big enough for three grown-up people, but it did help to build up their bonds again. He could bite them to force a stronger bond, but he didn’t ask for that. If they wanted to he would do it, but them being family was enough to grow the bonds gradually. Soon enough they would be as strong as they should be and this way they had time to heal in the process.

He did bite Jackson to fold him into the Hale pack again. He didn’t have a choice with the boy if he wanted to be pack with them. They had been pack too short of a time for a bond to get back naturally. Well, maybe if Jackson had started to live with them too and they had months or more, maybe a bond would form without forcing the issue. But Jackson needed an alpha, and he didn’t want to live at Peter’s so biting it was.

Peter did ask why he chose Peter before Scott, but Jackson had just scowled and said that he wanted an alpha he could count on to do what was necessary. Peter didn’t know if he meant stopping Jackson from hurting anyone again, or keeping him safe, but he didn’t ask. He would do both.

He should probably find a therapist for his betas too. Someone with knowledge of the supernatural. The moon knew that they all could use it. Hell, he could probably use it himself, but not yet. He would find one for Jackson and make him go, the kid had not grown up in this world and probably needed more support than just pack. He would offer it to Derek and Cora, but not demand them to attend. Not for a few months at least.

He just hoped Beacon Hills would give them time to breathe a little.

He also monitored Stiles closely. The boy avoided him still in human form, but he did let him in as a wolf at night. He worried about him. The boy didn’t sleep enough, and Peter just knew that he had horrible nightmares when he wasn’t there.

Stiles could probably use some therapy too.

But he would never accept it from Peter. It didn’t matter that Peter thought of him as part of his pack. Stiles wasn’t his. He definitely belonged to Scott’s pack. And the boy did a passable enough go at the alpha role. Probably because he had Stiles, but it didn’t matter why it worked, as long as it did. Peter suspected that Scott could probably even grow to become a great alpha one day, but he wasn’t sure he would survive Beacon Hills. Not as it was now. Maybe ten years ago, when the Hale pack had kept the territory safe and stable for generations, maybe Scott’s morals and aversion for killing would have worked.

He didn’t think it would now.

But it didn’t matter much anyway. Peter was the real alpha of the territory. He would keep it safe. He was a Hale. He belonged there. It was his. But he allowed Scott to stay. Didn’t even tell him that he wasn’t the only alpha in town. Stiles would do that sooner or later, and probably do a much better job of it. No. He avoided Scott to not force a confrontation between them. He didn’t want to do anything that would make Stiles shut him out again. Sure, he could only spend time with him as a wolf, but he knew he helped and that was enough.

For now.

The boy still smelled odd.

He was sure it was due to the ritual, but he wasn’t sure if it was permanent or not. Had the boy changed? Was it something bad? Or was it just his talent for using mountain ash that was evolving into something more?

Peter didn’t know.

And he couldn’t ask Stiles about it, because the boy refused to see him when he was in human form.

Maybe it was time to change tactics.

***

He set up a meeting with the sheriff. He had to be careful when he told the man about what had been going on, he didn’t want to say anything that would get Stiles in trouble after all. But he still thought that it would be better to avoid lying, it was usually safer that way. So he told the man about what had happened to his pack, how he had been driven crazy when healing, how Stiles scent had given him some moments of rest that had been the only thing keeping him from going completely feral.

He told him how Stiles scent had stopped him from attacking the whole search party out that fateful night. How it had brought him back enough to keep from killing innocents. He didn’t shy away from killing the ones he had, but he made it sound more like it had been a mad instinct driven by grief and not the vengeance it had been. Because he could probably have kept from killing completely, but he didn’t let the sheriff know that.

The man took it surprisingly well, he hated the whole affair sure, but he didn’t make any moves do to anything about it. He looked a bit like he understood. Peter doubted that the man would ever go so far as he had, but he at least understood the drive of doing anything for family.

Peter didn’t say anything about dying and coming back. Let the man ask about that if it ever came up. He only told as much as he had to try and explain why he cared about Stiles. Why, to him, the boy was important. He didn’t expect anything from him, he just needed to keep him safe. Because when he had nothing he had latched on to the only other living being that had smelled as miserable as he had been. He didn’t think that the sheriff really got that part, but they parted on somewhat friendly terms.

He decided that it was best to not tell about his semi-regular visits at night as a wolf. He didn’t think the man would understand that at all.

He did give the man the number to the therapist he had found for Jackson. The man was operating a few towns over, but he knew about the supernatural and he was competent enough. He had also agreed to charge the Stilinskis way less than his normal fee and let Peter pay the difference without letting them know. So Peter hoped that they would reach out to get an appointment.

Because Stiles needed to talk to someone because his nightmares were getting worse.

***

“Peter?” Stiles' voice was muffled where he didn’t even bother to look up from his pillow. He was getting careless, not even checking who was getting in through his window. Peter huffed and jumped up on the bed beside him. He was late this night, but he was glad the boy at least acknowledged who he was now.

It was nice hearing him say his name.

He made sure to scent-mark him thoroughly before settling down beside him. He didn’t care what Scott thought about it. If he even noticed. Stiles still smelled odd, but he smelled better with Peter’s scent on him.

“Sillywolf.” But Stiles didn’t do anything to fend him off, and he ended up throwing an arm around him. Snuggling close, treating the wolf more like a plushy than a dangerous animal. Peter didn’t care, he loved when Stiles wanted to actually touch him back. It eased something in him. And it let the boy sleep better. All good things.

If he just could figure out what the change of scent meant. He didn’t like that at all.

***

Time passed. Cora did well in school and was starting to get actual friends. She was blunt in her opinion on people, but she was starting to fit in. Peter had hoped that she would get friendly with Stiles but she found him annoying most of the time. She didn’t actively dislike him, but she would be no use as a way to keep tabs on the boy either. She did respect him though because apparently he had been helpful to Erica and Boyd and they had all that being captured together trauma to bond over. He just hoped that she wouldn’t ask him to pay for therapy for them too. They were not pack, so they were not his responsibility.

Derek had made massive progress with the loft. He was getting the whole building renovated but he focused mostly on the loft. It was almost habitable again. Frankly, Peter couldn’t wait for them to move back there. He just wasn’t built to live with people anymore. Sure, he would insist on them sleeping like wolves together a few times a month, but he wanted his space back. He wanted to have a clean kitchen without someone leaving half a bowl of cereal because they were late for school every other morning. He hated finding books all over the place because Derek didn’t ever bother to put stuff back after he had read them.

But he tolerated it. Well, he complained excessively, but he never demanded that they would change. He knew that they didn’t do it to annoy him, or, Cora didn’t do it to annoy him. Derek probably took a great delight in trying to provoke him to lash out, but he refused to fall for it. They were all healing and their bonds had grown stronger. He just wanted them to move out.

He was also sure that Cora looked forward to having her own room again. She would get the one Peter had lived in at the loft since he didn’t need a place there anymore. She wanted someplace to actually get friends over. She at least accepted that boundary of Peter’s. Only pack were welcome in his home, and Jackson only ever came for bonding and training. It was not ideal, but it was working. Maybe he would one day get a real pack house again, but they were such a small pack at the moment that it wasn’t necessary.

And he didn’t want to grow it yet either. He hoped he would get Stiles one day, but for that to happen he needed to show that he was capable and stable. And maybe hope that Scott either moved or did something irredeemable to Stiles. He wasn’t sure what it would take. But he didn’t feel any desire to bite anyone else to expand his pack. He had enough betas to stay stable. Maybe Cora or Derek would meet someone who would be suitable to keep. But it would be a discussion to have then. They didn’t need anyone else now. Especially since there was another pack in town to help to keep it safe.

And two hunters.

He had had a very tense meeting with Chris where they had both agreed to let the other live but neither of them trusted the other. But Peter at least trusted Chris to want to keep the humans of the town safe, so it was worth trying to keep peace with the man.

***

Something was definitely wrong with Stiles. Peter whined low in his throat when he got the scent of distress as he entered the room. He was getting better at getting up to the window gracefully now. The alpha strength helped.

He hadn’t visited for a few days, because the sheriff had not worked night. He only ever got into the house when Stiles’ dad was away. He didn’t want to risk a confrontation. He hadn’t actually expected the boy to be asleep when he got there this night. But he was, and he was having a nightmare.

Peter couldn’t understand how the boy could stay asleep when his heartbeat was running amok like it was. And he was completely still. Not trashing like he used to.

Peter carefully jumped up on the bed. It would be easier to wake the boy up as a human, but that would be breaking their understanding so he didn’t shift back. He lay down next to the boy instead. He wanted to cover him, but he wasn’t sure how that would be interpreted by the dream he was having. So he tried to push against his side to see if it helped.

His pulse got worse.

He whined in response. He didn’t know what to do. Should he lick him? Bite him? No, no biting, that would be bad. Maybe it would work to shake him awake by grabbing his clothes. Yes, biting cloth would surely be forgiven.

So he did that. He got a good grip with his teeth in Stiles shirt and shook.

The boy flew up, wide awake ready to fight. He was terrified. Peter let go as soon as he moved so he didn’t get pushed away but it was close. He whined again and ignored Stiles trashing to get close. The boy got in a few hits before he realized what was happening.

“Peter? You’re real?” Stiles clung to him as soon as he snapped out whatever he thought was happening. Peter just whined in reply. He wanted to say soothing words but he couldn’t. Sometimes being stuck as a wolf was extremely frustrating.

“Everything is just. I don’t know what is real. Am I dreaming? I’m missing time, maybe, or maybe I’m dreaming or sleepwalking or something. And when I sleep. I dream such horrible things.”

This was the first time Stiles had said anything to him since he helped save his father. Peter hated how relieved he felt for him to be talking when he was in such anguish. And the scent was still off. There was something other about him. Peter hated it.

“It’s like I’m always trapped in the worst moments of my life, but like they are happening now. Why? What did I do to deserve this? I’m going crazy. Peter. Stop me from going crazy. I don’t want to be like you.”

And it hurt to hear those words, to hear that Stiles still thought about him as the somewhat unhinged beast he had met first. And it was worrying, sure, it could be just bad dreams because of all he had gone through. But with the ritual and the changed scent… It was far more likely something bad was going on.

He hated seeing his boy like this. They needed to figure out what was going on. But he wasn’t sure he would be able to do that without talking to the boy. And he was still avoiding him as a human.

So he did the only thing he could do, he let the boy talk at him, until he calmed down, and then got back down beside him to be a steady presence as Stiles fell back to sleep. This time calmer, scent a little bit clearer.

He stayed awake the whole night, making sure that he didn’t dream anything bad again.

He got out of bed a bit after dawn and briefly shifted back to human. He left a note with his number and a plea for Stiles to call him. He didn’t expect anything to happen from it, but he needed to try.

With a last look at his boy, he made his way out of the window and ran home. He needed to get a few hours of sleep, and then maybe it was time to give Deaton a visit. The crafty druid always seemed to know a lot more than he let on. He should be able to give some answers.

***

Peter hated when he was right sometimes. Something was definitely wrong with Stiles. And while everyone else seemed to think it was the same illness that had taken his mother Peter knew better. Strange things had started to happen in Beacon Hills again, and there was no way it wasn’t related. Deaton had been cryptic like always, but he had told him about how the fake sacrifice would leave them with a darkness around their hearts and make them more open to bad things. He made it sound like it was Stiles’ own weakness that hadn’t let him close that opening. Peter refused to believe that explanation. No way that Stiles was weaker than the baby alpha or girl hunter. Sure, they had apparently had difficulties too, but not in the same degree as Stiles.

Peter thought it was more likely that Stiles had connected with the Nemeton, he seemed to have a talent for magic and he had been sort of sacrificed to the tree. And with the Nemeton active again, who knew what had used that connection and latched on to the boy?

So Peter tried to keep watch over the boy at night, making sure he was safe. And he made Cora keep in contact with Scott and his pack. Which somehow ended up with Derek letting the teens of Beacon Hills have a party in the unfinished part of the building his loft was in. He didn’t ask about that, maybe it was a big brother thing? The days around Halloween had been more strange than usual so maybe Derek got caught in the chaos of everything. It did end up with a city-wide blackout, a dead mass-murderer and several fights with masked entities. He managed to keep his pack safe, but he lost track of Stiles several times.

And Scott somehow had a kitsune in his pack now. A coincidence? Peter didn’t think so.

So he researched everything about possessions, Japanese folklore, and connections to Beacon Hills. It had to be a Nogitsune, and the masked figured were Oni there to find it. He wanted to talk to Stiles about it, but the boy refused to see him. He would probably need to take his findings to the sheriff instead. Because he wasn’t sure if Stiles was even in control anymore. Could someone be possessed only sometimes? Surely he would have reached out to Peter if he had been able to? He had always been practical in getting information by any means necessary. It was how they had sort of become sort of friends in the first place.

Until the sacrifices mucked everything up.

Would Stiles have come to him for help if he had just slept with him when he asked? What did he even remember from that night? Why did he have to come to Peter drunk? If he had been sober they could have had a better discussion around the issue. Peter didn’t have any romantic notions on having sex for the first time, he would probably have been up to it if Stiles had been sober, actually wanted it and not just desperate and afraid.

Afraid like he was now, but for the wrong thing.

But no, Peter would not lose his boy to this demon. He would save him by any means necessary.

***

They lost him.

They fucking lost him.

How could they? When they had gone through the whole stupid medical examination he had thought that Stiles at least would be safe at the hospital. He had three weres looking out for him for fuck's sake. How could they lose him?

Well, thank the moon that Derek had actually been of help and told Peter about it. He had managed to get a scent before it had been completely destroyed by all the people rushing around in the place. It smelled even more of the otherness that had crept into Stiles’ scent.

He got his pack to help search the preserve. He let Scott and his pack deal with searching the town. If it were a Nogitsune then it would want to spread as much chaos as possible. There was no way of telling where it would go to do that. But it would know about the weres of Beacon Hills, and it would know that they ran in the woods. Peter wouldn’t be surprised if it tried to set traps for them there. So they set off, Cora and Derek in one direction and Peter and Jackson in the other. Everyone was equipped with tranquilizers because they had no chance of fighting it without doing serious harm to Stiles. Peter just hoped it would work.

If they managed to find it.

It took them two days, but they finally managed to trap Stiles in one of the locker rooms at the school. They had to disarm several traps and Scott had directed most of his pack to search the whole school to find if there were any more. Peter just wanted to get Stiles back. The tranquilizers had worked, but he guessed it was just because the Nogitsune had run Stiles’ body ragged.

“Derek, do you have any chains at the loft?”

“The loft?! No, we need to take him to Deaton! His place-“ Scott interrupted before Derek had time to answer. Of course he did.

“The clinic is surrounded by mountain ash, but it’s not sure it would work. The loft is warded. It should weaken the Nogitsune’s hold on him.”

“But-“

“Scott, Peter was the first to say anything about Stiles being in trouble. I didn’t listen then. Maybe. Maybe we should try his way now?” The sheriff sounded heartbroken, but Peter relished in him taking his side against Scott.

***

They ended up securing Stiles in the middle of a warded circle in the loft, paralyzed with kanima-venom. At least Deaton was good for something. When Scott asked for it. And Scott only knew to ask for it because Peter had told him too. But Peter had to give him credit that he was able to set aside his mistrust of Peter for Stiles’ sake. Maybe they could actually work together one day. Not likely, but maybe.

They had quickly agreed on his plan of action. The Nogitsune couldn’t have a too deep hold of Stiles yet, so if they could just make him reject the demon from the inside… They would be able to fight the creature without harming Stiles.

They had gotten into a brief fight of who they were going to do what. Peter wanted to be the one to go into Stiles’ mind, but Scott didn’t trust him, and Peter didn’t trust Scott to do it without harming Stiles. The sheriff had ended it by deciding that Peter should do it and take him with him. Scott could monitor them and break them out of it if it looked like it was going wrong. The rest should be ready to defend the place from any attacks from the outside, the Oni would kill Stiles if they got the chance. They also needed to be ready to fight the Nogitsune when it got separated. They couldn’t let it escape to possess someone else.

The kitsune had gone to fetch her mother, but they didn’t want her to come back too soon. Because her mother would not hesitate to kill Stiles either. But Peter wouldn’t let anything happen to his boy. He wouldn’t survive it. Not without losing a vital part of himself.

He positioned himself behind Stiles and his father, flicking his claws out and gently eases them into their necks and plunged him and the sheriff into Stiles’ mind.

Time to banish a nightmare.

***

Peter found himself back at the hospital, the sheriff beside him. It was darker and more menacing than he had ever seen it, even fighting the alpha pack to save Cora had been better than this. He shuddered, he hated the hospital.

“Stiles?!” the sheriff shouted and started to move through the corridor like he knew where he was going. Maybe he did.

They ended up outside a room, door open, a woman lying in a bed inside.

“Claudia?” The sheriff sounded wrecked, and Peter had to grab hold of him to stop him from going inside.

“Stop, it’s not her. We’re looking for Stiles. The Nogitsune is trying to distract us.” He hoped the Nogitsune could only make up stuff from memories Stiles’ possessed. Because if he conjured Peter’s dead family… He wasn’t sure he would be able to resist them.

The sheriff put a hand over his face, took a deep breath, “right. You’re right. How do we find him?”

“We have to focus on him and keep walking. And resist all distractions.”

“Focus on Stiles, yes. I can do that. My son needs me. Like hell I’ll let him down.” Peter could almost taste the word again that was left unsaid, but only nodded and they took off.

They kept shouting his name, hoping it would help. They were met with a barrage of visions. They seemed to mostly be aimed at the sheriff, the Nogitsune painted a disturbing picture of his late wife, nightmarish visions interlaced with a sweet devoted mother. Peter wasn’t sure how much was taken from Stiles nightmares and how much was taken from real memories. They saw Stiles several times, always getting hurt in some ways but they never reached him in time. He vanished time and time again. The most disturbing point for Peter was a visual of him in his monstrous alpha form tearing Stiles apart. He wasn’t sure who that was for at all.

“This isn’t working.” The sheriff was barely holding it together. Peter wasn’t that much better.

“Do you have any better ideas?”

“Yes. I think. Maybe if we visualize someplace where Stiles would feel safe? Where he would hide. Surely he would try to hide from Nogitsune too?”

It was clever, Peter felt stupid for not thinking about it first. But at least he knew where to start.

“I know a place. I don’t know if I can take you with me, but if you focus on Stiles, I’ll focus on a place.” He grabbed the sheriff’s arm, closes his eyes and imagines his old hospital room. He imagines it down to how it felt lying there, trapped in a bed, for years.

He heard the sheriff gasp and opened his eyes. The room looked just the same. But it was not a little boy sitting in front of the closed door. It was Stiles, rocking back and forth with his arms around his head mumbling, trying to shut out the noises from the other side of the door. The noises of a woman, asking to let him in.

“Stiles!” The sheriff flung himself down on the floor and hugged his son close. This time it worked.

“Daddy?” And Stiles looked completely destroyed. The woman outside started to bang harder on the door screaming to be let it and Peter could see cracks forming.

 “I’ve got you. I’m here.” The scene was moving, but they didn’t have the time. Peter got down beside them.

“Stiles, I need you to listen to me.” He carefully took placed his hands around Stiles' face, forcing him to look back at him.

“Peter?”

“We’re in your mind. You have to take control. You are not crazy. You are not sick. You need to take control.”

“Come on son, you have the strongest mind I know. You can do this.”

Peter felt the time running out on them, the door disintegrated but just as he thought that Stiles would disappear into the nightmare once more, he looked up, towards the now serene version of his mother who was begging him to listen to her, to let him in.

“No.”

And everything got black and Peter was pushed back into his own body.

***

They ended up killing the Nogitsune. Nobody died in the fight that followed it being expelled from Stiles’ body, but Allison got severely hurt and almost lost a leg. It left Stiles weak and skittish but he stopped avoiding Peter after that.

Derek and Cora had to move back in with Peter for a week when renovations were done at the loft. It didn’t bother Peter at all, because he spent the whole week at the Stilinskis, mostly as a wolf, to make sure that Stiles’ was okay. The sheriff didn’t protest, he had been horrified of what they had seen in Stiles’ mind and was only happy to have someone making sure his son didn’t do anything stupid. Even if he did take several pictures of Peter when he in wolf form got aggressively cuddled by Stiles. Peter just hoped that he would use them for blackmail purposes and not show them to anyone.

He still had his dignity after all.

“Hey, Peter?” Stiles murmured into his fur, making Peter make a calming noise deep in his throat.

“You really do care about me?” Peter could only huff and press closer in response. He thought the silly boy should now that he cared way too much by now. He thought Stiles’ got the meaning because his scent got sweeter with the response.

“I think… I think I care about you too. Thank you for finding me.”

And Peter could only lie there, happy. Maybe, just maybe, their time would come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that’s a wrap. 
> 
> I may come back to this someday to write what happens next. But that would be a new story, probably from Stiles’ perspective. 
> 
> If you liked it, please leave a comment before you go.


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